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so I think closet wise i might be completely screwed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by europeanguy, Jan 12, 2016.

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  1. europeanguy

    europeanguy
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    for some reason tonight my Dad started saying to me " you know you can tell me anything, and your mum. whatever you decide to be we will still love you" he has said this to me two times before but this seems like he strongly suspects im gay, my mother even expresses her pro-LGBT views right in front of me. i dont know what i did but i think my parents have had the discussion and have quite possibly agreed that this may be the case (which it totally is) I have no idea how they might have found out (if they even have) but i do hope it wasnt through something id posted online.


    I dont know what to do im too much of a coward to straight up say it even though they seem to act like they already know. I guess i dont want the change or to go through it....


    thoughts on this?
     
    #1 europeanguy, Jan 12, 2016
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    First, they know. I'm confident of this.

    Second... very often, the people who are convinced no one can tell... everybody knows, but isn't saying. :slight_smile: So it's quite likely they've known for a long time and have been waiting for you to tell them, but sense that it might be stressing you out which is why they're encouraging you to tell them.

    I had one friend that I knew was gay from almost the first time I met him. Took him over 10 years to come out. (6 just to come out to himself), even though *everybody* around him knew. So your secret... may not be so secret. That may be unnerving, but in reality, what it means is that whomever knows or strongly suspects has already dealt with it and is OK with it.

    If you can't tell them directly, send an email, text, leave a letter, get a cake that says "I'm gay" and give it to them... something. Since you know they'll be supportive, you could even do it jokingly (the cake, for example...) It's hard as hell to take that step, even knowing that they'll be supportive... but there's really no reason not to.
     
    #2 Chip, Jan 12, 2016
  3. europeanguy

    europeanguy
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    haha, one crucial piece of evidence is that my dad actually asked me "are you gay?" i totally avoided the question and have seemed to have gotten away with it
     
    #3 europeanguy, Jan 12, 2016
  4. YermanTom

    YermanTom
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    I agree with Chip, they know and they are cool about it, so relax!
    But it is OK and normal to be scared about coming out.

    It is entirely up to you when and if you come out to them, take things at a pace that is right for you.
    You have the opportunity to come out in an imaginative and safe way knowing that everything will be OK!
     
    #4 YermanTom, Jan 12, 2016
  5. headsup1958

    headsup1958
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    Yeah, so I'm a dad....and from a parental point of view it sounds like they are okay with it and prompting you to come out to them. But don't do it until you are ready and feel comfortable, okay?
     
    #5 headsup1958, Jan 12, 2016
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