i am sixteen and i'm bisexual and i love it, i've come out to basically my whole year level, except for the year 8's and 9's who have found out by rumours. my counsellor's know and stuff but i don't know how to tell my family, like i've tried, i've told them i'm gay e.g: brother: (joking around) i'm gay. dad: dont you ever say that again! me: dad i'm gay.. dad: *ignores for the rest of the night* and stuff like that. but i am scared to tell him cos of how he will react. and i think my mum knows cos of a few things that has happened.. but yeah. any ideas on what to say and the best time to do it? cos i am totally lost, i mmean i have full on anxiety and i have depression and shit so i've been thorugh a hell of a lot. and i recently over the new year got dumped. and i'm still totally inlove with her but she seems to think that she doesn't like me anymore even though she said she was inlove with me. and like she full flirts with me and stuff and it hurts because then she says she doesn't like me back.. :| she says that our relationship was the same as us being bestfriends. but thats not my fault, she never would kiss me :| she hasn't even kissed a girl before.. i just want to be with her again, that would be the only thing i want anymore.. ugh i am almost ready to give up on everything all together. so now you are probs bored of me writing and rambling on. can any of you help ?
Heya and welcome to EC, glad you found us (*hug*) Well done on coming to terms with who you are and coming out to the school, it's a great step forwards! Well done! However, there's no rush in coming out to anyone, do it when you feel ready, it's not a race. I'm sorry you feel depressed, it's no fun at all. How about your mum, what's her views on homosexuality? Your Dad seems to be an unsuitable choice to come out to just now. Your bother might also be a possibility, though he should be mature enough to handle it and not tell your parents if you're not ready for them to know. Regarding your girlfriend; what was the reason she dumped you? Because if she's still being flirty, so really ought to talk it through with her, since it upsets you. It sounds like she doesn't want to a have a serous relationship; that she's not ready. How long have you been split? It's important to let these things have lots of time though. I hope this helps, it's not the most coherent of replies, but still, we care about you (*hug*)
If your ex has never kissed a girl, and never kissed you... Maybe she's confused about her sexuality. Maybe she is too scared or is still coming to terms with it. With your parents, as Rosina said, try your mother first, maybe your brother if you feel he can be mature about it. If they don't listen write them a letter explaining how you feel. Answer all the norm questions: Are you sure? Since when? Why did you choose to be gay/bi? (trick quesiton of course) and maybe include some PFLAG material and stick it all in an envelope. they'll read it, have the initial shock and have time to calm down before they see you in person. Or just address it to your mum if you think your dad will react badly. Ask her to keep it from him for a while and see if she can help you with him. good luck!
Welcome to EC There is no rush to come out to your parents, unless you feel so anxious and desperate to that the only way to feel better is to come out. I am not the best person to get advice from (I am not out to my parents), but some ways are by letter, phone, in person, formally, and casually. You could perhaps drop hints and see what happens - you say you think your mum might already know, and as it sounds as though it's your dad's reaction you're afraid of, you could always try her first, and see what happens. However, if you feel that they might react really negatively, or if you feel you'd be unable to answer their questions, then it might be worth waiting a bit. It's hard to give advice when I know so little about you, but these are general things to think about when coming out. I would say concerning your ex that unfortunately there are girls like that - who for whatever reason (because they're unsure themselves, or because they just like messing people around) will flirt with you without meaning anything. It sounds as though she might be confused, or that she might like the idea of being in a lesbian relationship, but isn't actually lesbian/bi. Or she might just like the power she has over you. It's hard to tell from here, but having been in that situation myself, I worry about you getting hurt by someone who just enjoys the power that flirting with someone who likes them gives them. The best thing you can do is to try and get over her until where she stands with regards her sexuality and you is clear. I hope this helps
