Here's my story. I was dating the most amazing girl for two years. We had an awesome connection. We were there for each other through everything. Well, I started to feel smothered a bit and began to question if I were in fact lesbian or bi. I Started to see this guy I dated for a very short time about five years back. I ended up cheating on my girlfriend with him. :eusa_doh: When I confessed to my girl, she was obviously upset and heartbroken, but in her awesome ways, suggested we try couples counciling to make things work. I declined pigheadedly. I cheated and never wanted to be that person. I am a romantic. But I felt at the time that I just had to be sure about being with a girl for the long run. No sparks flew with the guy. My friends actually hate that I still talk to him because he hurt me so many times emotionally when we saw each other five years back. Heartbroken, I decided that I couldn't handle what I had done, and decided to "run away" to my home state 300 miles north and go back to school. I had time to think and realized that my girl and I were meant for each other. :bang: Currently, we still talk, occasionally, although most conversations end with me pleading for her to take me back. :tears: She is actually dating a guy she has known for years after telling me many times that she would never date a guy again. I want to show her that I am sorry for the mistakes I have made and that I am still the girl who took her out and opened the door for her and surprised her with gifts...etc.. I am not afraid of dealing with the distance, I told her that I would drive to her every weekend. After I earn my degree I would move back to her. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I would greatly appreciate your stories and advice.
That's a tricky situation to be in. I can understand your wanting to be sure and just check what it was like with a guy but your technique for doing that could use some work It's a big call but I think that if she really is your everything, you need to prove that by moving back. You wouldn't want to until she had finished with her guy, but my but feeling is that she's probably just getting back back at you by hooking up with him. If it really is meant to be, you will end up back together. To find out if that happens you need to keep talking, go and see her in person every once in a while and let her know that you're happy to wait, but if she's still with this guy after 6 months I'd think that was a sign that things are over. I think you screwed up pretty badly; and if you lose something precious because of that, well that's part of being an adult and you'll probably learn something very valuable as a result. I really hope that isn't what happens though, and that you'll get to learn something valuable form the experience, *and* get your relationship back on track.
I want to say this without trying to hurt your feelings, though Matt pretty much said what I would of. If this girl had indeed been your soulmate she would have stayed with you. Soul mates are suppose to be together forever, and the fact that your soul mate couldn't stay with you despite this problem, or chaotic problem really, then she isn't your soul mate. I realize it hurts but the best thing to do is move on with your life. If you're meant to be together, you'll wind up as such later in life.
For quite some time, it sounds like she was forced to operate on your schedule, and on your terms. You wanted to "see how the straight thing went", you didn't want to go to therapy, you wanted to move away. She probably finally decided "You know what? FTDS" and (wisely) decided to move on with her life. And now you've said, in essence, "Hey, guess what? I've decided you're my one and only. Let's get back together again!" ...you can't really blame her for not thinking it's a great idea. Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea to keep after her. She's moved on. It may be that, sometime down the road, she'll decide that she feels the same way about you. But there's no guarantee of that. I think it's better to wish her well, and try to move on. Sucks majorly, without a doubt, but I think it's best in the long run. Lex
I agree,you need to move on. If it's meant to be,in the future,it will be. But,my advice? Don't wait around for someone who may not feel the same as you do. You have a life to live,live it!
Thank you for all of your responses. This was my first post. I see what you are saying, but it is a lot easier said than done. Check this out: When I have mentioned that I want to get back together, my ex had replied on more than one occasion that "right now...I don't know if we can do anything. We are so far away. I don't know what to do". Does anyone think that she's completely moved on? About me moving back, I've thought about it...but for my career, I can't. I'm at the only school in the area with my concentration for my master's degree. I will need a few years to complete it. I am only a 3.5 hour drive from where my ex lives, something I think is very manageable for a weekend drive. Anyone have any tips on proving myself? that I've made the stupidest mistake and just want her to see that I am sincere and can be trusted.
finish you schooling. let her have this thing with the guy, but let her know you still love her. i wouldnt push her too much to get back together or it could end up puching her futher away. you have explained how you felt and now its her turn to amke a move.
This will make me cry just talking to you about it because I really do believe in soulmates. Sometimes we are just not meant to be with them. We are with them for a short time to learn things about ourselves and then for some reason they move on or we move on and there is really nothing we can do about it no matter how much it hurts. Mine walked out of my life over 10 years ago and it still feels like somebody ripped a a huge hole in my chest. You just have to focus on what you learned from that relationship and from that person and move forward. If you believe in living more than one life like I do know that you will meet again and love again. (*hug*)
Hey, I think the only really meaningful thing you can to prove yourself is to sit down and have an entirely honest talk with her. You need to know where she's at, and it sounds very much like you need her to know where you're at. Truth can hurt, but I think understanding really genuine truths doesn't hurt quite as much because you'll understand each other instead of being left with unanswered questions. Other people seem to think you're finished but I don't think that's the only way things can go. When you talk about her getting together with this guy...it smacks of her getting back at you and hurting you the way you hurt her. And that could be a good thing because it shows how much she must have cared beforehand. If this is what happened, you could end up back together and happy again. I'm a million miles away and might be reading things wrongly, but that's what I'm seeing. What do you think is going on?
