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A letter I sent to my dad.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MLCarr, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. MLCarr

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    So I'm really hurting at the moment. And I have been. I've been sitting on this letter to my dad for over a week now. I finally sent it. I'm scared of the repricutions, but it needed to be said.


    Dad,

    I hope this letter reaches you at a less hectic time than my other messages. I wish for you to read this from my point of view and try to understand my perspective.

    When I was younger I was your daughter, sleeping on your lap at 5AM while you finished your master’s degree. But as time has gone by I have grown older and, despite your protests, grown up. I am no longer the little girl, nor am I really your daughter anymore. I have become just another employee within your household.

    You have given me projects like washing the car or figuring out money for college. The problems started when you never gave me deadlines for these projects. Suddenly I would be in the position with you angry because I did not meet the unspoken deadlines you never gave me. I am at a loss for what to do anymore to please you.

    I used to be able to give you a hug or a nice card for Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t work anymore. I used to be able to talk to you like you were my Dad, now I’m down to sending you memos through e-mail. If you are going to insist on treating me as an employee I at least want to have the respect you give your employees, be given questions that are less vague so I do not misinterpret them, and assignments with appropriate deadlines.

    It should be obvious to you that this is not the kind of relationship a girl should have with her Father. I don’t want it like this, but I don’t know how else to go about life without getting more hurt than I already am. I’ve learned that it is best to give in to what the boss wants than to ask for something you know to be ridiculous.

    I will try my best to do everything you ask from me from now on with few or no questions.

    I’m sorry for the inconvenience,

    Your Daughter


    I know it might not be the nicest letter...but I didn't knwo what else to do. I just need to know that I"m not the only one out there right now, because i really feel like I am.
     
  2. tallship

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    well its to the point ,and it might just do the trick.Sounds like your Dad is so tied up in his work that he has lost track of whats around him. It must be sad for him to be distanced from you ,he just has not noticed until now that is. take care and post back how things went . Big hug
     
  3. beckyg

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    You are making the effort to communicate your feelings to your dad and I think that is important. Most people would just let the distance grow further and further. I hope it works!
     
  4. HeronsStorm

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    It's not mean, you're being direct and to the point. Your dad sounds busy and he wouldn't have time to read a five page email that skirts around the subject. I think you did a good job writing it and expressing your feelings to him, good luck!
     
  5. Maddy

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    I think it's a great letter, and it seems likely to be the shock he needs to make him realise what's happening. Let us know how it turns out! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you (*hug*)
     
  6. Mirko

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    I think the letter will give your dad a few things to think about. It is important that you let him know how you feel about the situation. You are making the effort to come closer to your dad again, which counts for a lot. I hope it goes well!
     
  7. Mickey

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    I agree. It's a good letter,to the point and what you needed to do.
    Good luck,I hope it changes things,for the better.
     
  8. curiousdude

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    I think it's a great letter that should be a wake up call to him. Honestly, you're doing him a favor by giving him a chance to recognize how you feel and change course before you drift too far apart.
     
  9. MLCarr

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    So I got a very angry response from my dad. He has threatened to cut me off completely so that I become a more respnosible person. It looks like it was too late to salvage that relationship.

    :cry:
     
  10. Mirko

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    So sorry to hear that. (*hug*)

    Not sure if it would help, but maybe you can try giving him a few days and try talking with him?
     
  11. pianomike

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    that's terrible... I also work for my dad right now and i hope things don't turn out this way for me, but if they do i hope i can learn from your experiences.
    I love your signature... i've known that verse forever!!!!!!