Wicked mother

Aw, that's awful *hugs*

This will probably sound obvious, but try to explain to her that it isn't a choice. Or show her all the resources on the internet that say it isn't a choice, or all the people on here that say it isn't a choice. Maybe that will convince her?

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope everything turns out all right!

 

Well as far as mothers go another important thing to point out is that, "It's not your choice if your gay or not. But it is her choice if she still loves you or not."

I know you may think your mother as horrible at this point. But finding out their child is gay isn't an easy thing. Especially the more conservative she is down the line. Just try to be patient with her.

And if all else fails,
She can't take college away from you (execept maybe finanically--but I'm sure there are ways around that). College is YOUR decision, and no one elses.

All the best though. I really hope that you can convince your mother to allow love to conquer all

 

No matter what she says, college IS your choice, even though it would probably be a lot more complicated. I'm not sure what your grades are, but you should work hard to get scholarships that way you don't have to worry about your mom financing you, you may also have to get a job and start saving. Before all that (though I still encourage you to get good grades) you should try to show her sources explaining how being gay is not a choice. I don't mean to pry, but where is dad in all of this?

 

Ah, your mother isn't wicked. She's just being irrational right now. Fortunately you are only 16 so you've got a couple years to educate her. Have you given her PFLAG materials?

 

Something I forgot to add, make sure to listen to all knowing EC mother ^ *coughcouch*Beckyg*coughcough*

 

Oh, uh, sorry to bring that up.:icon_redf

 

College Education > Being out.
So if coming out is risking that i would lie your way back into the closet. you can live a great out life after you have your degree. (and while you are in college just without her knowing)

 

I would have to agree with Jarrett. Give it a little bit and be like you know what I guess you were right it was just a phase. My hormones, emotions, etc got the better of me and I was just confused. Of course, it's horrible to have to lie about it against your will but as was said it's not worth trying to take on massive debts on your own in order to be out. Plus if she truly believes it's a choice, she should buy it. I'm really sorry you have to go through that though (*hug*)

 

Is it possible to get to college without her help? Scholarships or a part-time job could help with the financial situation, maybe just enough that you don't have to rely on her for help. As other people have said, PFLAG might be really helpful (Becky's the one to ask about that, of course). If the situation gets really desperate, as Jarrett and Derek said, denying your sexuality for a while might be your only option. I'm so sorry you're in this situation, it sounds like there's no easy way out (*hug*)

 

I remember I found a website for an organization that offered scholarship to GLBT teens who had things like this happen to them. If only I could remember what it was called...

 

A brief google search for "GLBT scholarships" yielded a whole bunch of results. You could always look into that.

 

You know, being out is all about being true to yourself and unashamed of who you are. Lying your way back in just seems cowardly. I say you spend the next two months doing nothing but filling out scholarship applications and looking for a job. There are kids from lower income families who find ways to get through Ivy league schools, so I know you can do it.

Sometimes we outgrow family members on a spiritual and emotional plane. My parents will excommunicate me from my family when I come out. That is not a fear it is reality. No more contact. PERIOD. One time dad found some notes from friends at school who knew I was confused and interrogated me with his fists until I lied my way back into the closet. Sometimes we gotta live for us and be damned with the consequences; as long as no one gets hurt physically.

This is your life and your opportunity. How bad do you want it? Then, reach out and grab it.

Pendrin.

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. But, college is your choice, and she shouldn't threaten to take it away because of that. Apply for scholarships, start stashing money away for it, those would be my 2 suggestions.

 

Can You Not get Student Loans? I made it to college and with min help from parents just get students loan and like 50$ for a application But that easier said then done XD Best of luck DONT GIVE IN

 

There is an organization that gives college scholarships to glbt kids who can't get help from their parents. www.pointfoundation.org

 

It is absolutely possible for you to go to college without your mom's help. In fact, if you remove her from the picture entirely, it will actually make it EASIER for you.

Let me explain.

When you fill out your FAFSA, there are questions on there about income (naturally), but more importantly, there are questions about FROM WHOM that income comes. The first year will be harder because your mom will or already has claimed you as a dependent on her taxes, so you'll have to report her income. But, you should be able to get a variety of loans and (hopefully) grants, scholarships, et cetera.

Then what you do is move out and get your own place. By moving out, you set up a scenario where she cannot claim you as a dependent on her taxes. This will benefit you because then the only income you'll have to report on your FAFSA is your own. And, because your income will be the only income sustaining you, that will also change the equations that the government uses to figure out what your expected contribution is. The end result of that is more availability of financial aid.

Trust me on this when I say you can do college 100 percent on your own without your mom's help. My parents stepped foot on my college campus exactly one time, and that was the day I graduated. I paid my own way, chose my own school, made my own decisions, and I graduated as a magna cum laude with a bachelors degree. Trust me, you can do it. All you have to do is work for it.

If you have any questions, don't hesistate to find me via PM or on the boards.