ok, ever since coming out, its been a really hard ordeal, but im still managing....i think. after coming out to my parents (which was very happy) all thats been on my mind is them accepting me for who i am, trying to find my place in this world, cause it aint easy being gay in this time, and struggling with school. on top of all that, im alone and have no one to comfort me. i mean sure, i have friends, and im very grateful that they are helping a tons, but it doesnt compare to having someone who can comfort me, and not care about all the nit picky details of life, and just be there for me. i want someone who i can just lay down with on my bed, and have him wrap his arms around me (i know, to much detail, but im trying to prove a point). it would just be us two, nothing else in the world would matter for that moment, we would just lay there together till we fall asleep. i want a person like that, who can comfort me when im worn out, im not saying im the softy kind of type, cause i am a wall of steel that is hard to knock down. but dont think i dont have a soft side, cause i do, but i dont like showing it, cause i look at it has a weakness, and i cant be anything but weak around this time in my life. back to the point, all im saying is that i need a special someone who i can just be with when im down. so if any of you know how to deal with this kind of feeling, im all for it cause im ready to listen to anything. :icon_sad:
For one. Talking about these feelings is a great way to help find someone. Just let people around you know, "I'm looking for someone." Because although this may sound stupid there's always that one friend that knows this really cute guy who's gay. As for me, when I feel like this it often feels that I'm letting myself dwell on the lonelyness. So what I like to do is just either watch a REALLY awesome romantic movie (ATU) or listen to a really awesome "Pick me up" kind of song, and suddenly I start to feel alot better. Or I just hang with my friends..or I go to the gay bar. Anyways, don't let not having a boyfriend get the best to you, don't hide your feelings, and just smile away the days till that special someone bumps into you at the... *Gets out his crystal ball* Supermaket
casjerem, you just summed up whats going on with me perfectly in your post heh. (other than the parents being accepting part). So i totally know what your going through and feeling. I hope thats some consultation, because if i feel that way there is always hope someone else does whos closer to you. Now you just have to go find that person! Join clubs, go out places with friends, ect. Not going to be easy until you can hit up clubs and bars and such, but not impossible! I just wish i didnt have to drive an hour to get to these places myself heh...
actually, i messed up. coming out to my parents wasnt very happy. they are in complete denial about it.
Well, what you're describing there is more of an end result. Sort of like saying "I'd love to be retired." Nothing wrong with that, but it ignores all the stuff that leads up to it. Can you have a guy like that? Yes. But it isn't gonna come simply. You have to meet a guy. You have to click. You have to build a relationship. And, perhaps most importantly, unless he's just extremely altruistic, you're going to have to do this stuff for him, as well. A great relationship isn't something that is simply stumbled into, or "won". It's earned. It's built. And it takes constant work and care to keep it going. Which is why people who are in them are so proud of them. Yeah, they might have stumbled upon each other. But they also did the necessary work to build and maintain the relationship. So do give that some thought. Because whatever your stipulations for a "perfect boyfriend" are, it won't matter unless you can be a kick-ass boyfriend yourself. And you can. Lex
Well, Lex just summed it up what I was going to say so... Yeah, I feel your pain, but you can't let yourself dwell on it. Try to distract yourself, like what Inarut was saying.
i never really think about that so much. i know hard work goes into building a strong and long relationship. i dont think i will have a problem when im in a relationship. anyone who has ever met me has told me that im a nice guy, respectful (to a certain degree), and uber caring person (sometimes to much, but i know when to tone it down). when i meet a guy, it may be tough because im not that much of a talkative person, but as time progress, i let down my guard because i see that i can trust them. when i do, i let them know the real me, and most people like me for who i am, cause im a very caring person. also, i know that i have to be there for them to, and i wont have a big problem on that end, but on the other end, being there for them to much (sometimes a bit too caring), but i would be there whenever they would need me and hopefully they would the same for me. and as for the perfect boyfriend thing, i dont imagine that i would have the perfect boyfriend, seeing as no one is perfect in anything. but i know in reality, he would have some faults (according to my standards, but everyone standards are different, so his faults would seem faults to me because of my me) and we would but heads because of it, but all in all, if i want a relationship with a guy, i've learned that you have to make compromises if you really want to be with them.
