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How should I start the coming out conversation?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ConnectedToWall, Jan 16, 2016.

  1. ConnectedToWall

    Regular Member

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    OK, so the only people who I am out to, are people who came out to me. I was thinking of coming out to my Dad, but I'm not sure if I should wait until I have a girlfriend, or just come out to him now. I'm not sure what to say. I mean, he's not really homophobic, not extremely. I just don't know...exactly how he's going to take it.
    Advice?
    (!!)
     
  2. TheBiBoy

    TheBiBoy Guest

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    Do you feel ready to come out to your dad? If you do great. You said he's not very homophobic? This is a good step. I think you should talk to him about famous people you know who are gay/lesbian and see how he reacts. If he is ok with the subject you should tell him that you are lesbian but maybe not a direct way. Maybe say something like "Hey dad, I think I need to tell you something, I like girls but I don't like guys" or something like that. It is easier on him than directly putting it in his face. If he is a bit shocked that is totally normal. You should then ask him what he thinks about you being lesbian and then you could talk to him and make things better. I think everything should go ok. Oh and talk to him when he's not in a rush anywhere or anything like that. Tell me how you get on or if you need more advice.

    Best of Luck,
    TheBiBoy
     
  3. ConnectedToWall

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    Thanks for the advice!
    Reading over that, it just suddenly became so much more real, I could imagine it happening...
    The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm ready or not.
    I know I'm tired to feeling like I'm lying to everyone, but at the same time, I know it's going to be an awkward conversation.
    I just can't find the right moment either. How do you find the right moment to say it?
     
  4. TheBiBoy

    TheBiBoy Guest

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    I found the right moment by judging what mood the person was in and if she/he wasn't in a rush I said "Can we talk?" and then I told them. The trick is to listen to the person and watch the facial expressions without staring. And then it can just come back to the conversation about people who you know is lesbian. You're the only person who will know when you are ready, we can only help. Trust me, in the perfect world coming out would be the simplest thing in the world but in reality it is tough and can be awkward. But anybody who comes out is very brave and has a lot of courage. Would it be easier telling your mom first? To make it less awkward be sure to answer any questions your dad has. I know some of the questions might be awkward but by doing this there is more chance he won't be annoying you about it because all his questions were answered and this will also reduce the awkwardness. But the awkwardness should go pretty quickly. Oh and about the right time again I find whenever you go out for dinner or some other activity with your mom or dad alone and this could be the best time. Glad to help.

    Best Of Luck,
    TheBiBoy