Hello again, for the first time in my life I'm asking for advice. I want to come out to the rest of my family but every time I try to utter the words I just feel sick to my stomach out of anxiety, nervousness and dread. I don't know how to get over that feeling as I have extreme anxiety, stress as well as depression, I honestly do want to tell them but I feel like if I do I'll break down crying and then have a panic attack while trying to stutter out the words ''I'm transgender''. I don't like causing confrontation but I know no matter what I do that'll happen no matter what, I honestly don't know what to do.
I was you. Yesterday. It's going to be hard, but basically what you need to do is not be blunt about it. I sent an email to my mom while she was a couple hours away for my brother's soccer tournament, so she could have time to process. Don't just confront them and say I'm transgender. Sure, confront them, but say something more like, I don't feel like a girl, and I'd like to see a gender therapist because I'm questioning my gender identity. Even if you aren't questioning, it doesn't come as so much of a shock if you say it that way.
If you're not comfortable with face-to-face interaction, perhaps a letter or email would be better? That way you can get out all the information you want without being interrupted
I of course wouldn't just say ''I'm transgender'' I would say ''{Insert family member name}, I need to tell you something so please just listen if that is okay. I don't feel like a girl, I don't feel like I'm in the right body I feel trapped in a body I shouldn't be in. I feel I should of been born in a males body instead of a females one..'' (I'm already seeing a Gender therapist.)
Dysfunctions – I can relate entirely to your dilemma. I wanted to tell my mom I was gay for quite some time, but I just couldn’t quite muster up the courage whenever I was around her. I was really excited about telling her, but would melt right before each attempt. I think I was afraid that if I started talking I would become overly emotional and she wouldn’t take me seriously. The solution? I wrote a letter. The nice thing about a letter is that you can sit down, put some thought into it, and get out exactly what you want to get out. The other benefit is that it gives the recipient some time to digest prior to talking with you, rather than springing something on them in person. People tend to react differently (more rationally and less emotionally) when they’ve had some time to mull something over in their head. Best of luck.
So, if you're already seeing a GT it should be easier to come out. If you don't feel comfortable even with a letter/email you can always ask your therapist to tell your parents for you. Obviously they will have suspicions already because you are seeing a GT but it won't come so much of a shock, and hearing it straight from the GT makes it more real, I guess. Good luck! It'll go okay. They'll come to.
Milo - Just because I'm seeing a GT doesn't mean it's going to be easier to come out, it's still going to be difficult for me to say anything to them even if I'm seeing a GT. Secondly my mother is always busy with work so it would be impossible for my GT to tell her, thank you. Cort - Thank you I appreciate that solution, I'll think about doing that. Thank you again, I appreciate it. Thank you all for the advice.
If your GT can't tell her, just try to do it yourself. It will be hard, and it was hard for me. I sat down and wrote 5 or 6 drafts of a letter that I wanted to give to my mom, and then I emailed it to her. She then had time to process. The most important thing about this for me was that I didn't have to be uncomfortable saying it, all I had to do was write it down. The multiple drafts sorted my ideas and got everything I needed to tell her down on paper.
