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Coming out plan (need advice)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dooey6464, Jan 19, 2016.

  1. Dooey6464

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    I plan on coming out in February. The main reason is that my Brother is away for work. Which tacks a lot of pressure off. I've got plenty of time to come out to my parents

    But before I come out to them. Theirs one day in February where my mum and dad have to leave home for two days and said I should invite a friend around. If I invite my friend around then I will have no pressure of my family being their. I think that's the best time to come out to them.

    Should I come out to my friend first or my parents?
    If I come out to my friend first is it gonna give the wrong impression to my friend ?

    I still don't think that I can say " I am gay ". So I'm using a letter. This is the letter for my friend.


    To …….

    If your read this letter then I have had the courage to tell you something important that I been hiding about myself for a few years. I need this to be clear and open. That's why I'm writing it instead of saying it. I'm am scared to death giving you this letter because I don't know the reaction you will have. All I hope is that we can still be friends after this.

    I am gay

    I've know I'm gay for a long time now but only early last year have started accepting myself for who I am. I had been living a lie for so long that I acted like a stupid ignorant asshole.i don't know why you talk to me then.If I could go back in time i would and change so much but I can't.

    Because I was in denial for so long when I started accepting myself I found myself running in circles for weeks from the ‘you’re not gay’ to ‘maybe you are gay’ to ‘but I don’t want to be gay’ to ‘you’re gay and it’s not such a bad thing’ and then back to denial again.I kept getting angry because I couldn't figure out who I was and made me lose my temper very easy and say some stupid stuff.

    Me and you have been friend for a long time. In that time I have fuck up so many time.I don't know if you knew I was gay but I have to say thanks for just being a friend. I hope this be the final big fuck up I ever do. I hope that our friendship doesn't change.

    Your friend

    (My name)



    I don't know if the letter is good because I wrote it when I was having a panic attack.

    Do you think I should come out using this letter?

    Or do you think I should wait until I can say I'm gay?

    Sorry for making it so long
     
    #1 Dooey6464, Jan 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2016
  2. Book addict

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    Hey! I think it is good!
    Since I'm not out at all I can only say from my point of view that, right now if you feel like you need to tell him the truth and you rather do it by letter then go for it! I think it is really good, you say what you feel right now and I think there is no better way to say it!
    Hope it will go well!
    Hugs (*hug*)
    Book addict
     
  3. kibou97

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    I doubt your friend would get the wrong impression. even if they are also male, i think they'd more feel happy that you have enough trust in him to tell him this. If you think your friend would be accepting of this then i would come out to him first so that you at least have some support no matter how others may end up reacting. Coming out with this letter would probably be fine, and you dont have to be able to actually say "I'm gay" at first, i wasnt able to say it until maybe 2 months after i came out to a few people.
     
  4. Dooey6464

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    Thanks for the help (*hug*).im going to do the plan

    Thanks again (&&&)
     
  5. Gay1234

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    That is a very good plan I got to say so myself. Fair play for having it very well thought out. I agree with Burai97 that if your friend is accepting the friend would be there to support you no matter what. Good Luck with the coming out and please keep us updated :slight_smile:

    Good Luck,
    Gay1234
     
  6. Cort

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    I think your letter is great. It’s to the point and very authentic sounding. I can tell that you were emotional when you wrote it, but there’s nothing wrong that that whatsoever.

    There’s no shame in choosing to write a letter as opposed to saying it out loud. I went with a letter too. I think I could have said it in person, but the nice thing about letters is that you can collect your thoughts and make sure that you’re saying everything you want to say.

    In terms of who you should tell first – your friend or your family – only you can make that call. One benefit of telling a really good friend first is that you’ll have someone on your side to support you when you decide to tell your parents. A little support can go a long way.

    Hope it goes well!