Today I found out my mom is planning to take me to a psychologist, just to find out if I really am gay, I don't trust strangers easily and I don't think that I'll enjoy it tomorrow, plus it kind of make me lose the trust in my mom, more that I've thought it would, also it kind of pisses me off that she doubts me about it. I am going to have a breakdown, I can feel it in my throat and stomach, tomorrow is going to be longer that I hoped it would be. :bang:
I sympathize with you TemptingPotato. (*hug*) My parents did that to me once years ago. They stuck me in a psychiatric facility for a week after which I had to undergo weekly sessions with a psychiatrist for a couple of months. My mother would accompany me and would go in and talk to the Doctor alone, before I would have my session with him. And after we were done, she would make me wait outside and talk to him alone again. It was frustrating, but I quickly realized my parents didn't understand being LGBT. They thought it was a "phase" for me and when they realized it wasn't they were concerned. It didn't help that they started taking me to the psychiatrist because I slit my wrists. . I was a confused, angsty 16 year old at that time. I got through it by discussing other problems with the doctor. And 3 weeks in, I started lying that my "homosexual tendencies" were going away and that talking to him (the psychiatrist) was doing good. It was a wrong thing to do, but in my situation I figured faking it would be the only way I would get out. 5 months later, I got out of the situation, but not before the psychiatrist suggested I was pretending to be Gay as a "plea for attention". My parents never looked at me the same since. I hope you'll be able to get through it. Keep us up-to-date. Feel free to post on my wall. I'm here to talk anytime.
Thanks, it made me feel kind of better, but for now my back hurst like hell, and I'll have to wait and see for tomorrow, I'll keep you posted.
Hi TemptingPotato. I can understand the angst you feel about your appointment tomorrow. I'm somewhat older than you (like a dad with adult kids) and have seen a therapist before for depression & anxiety, grief counseling, and coming out. I'm seeing one now actually as I just came out in April and lost my wife 15 months ago. My advice to you would be, if you are willing to take it, is to be as open, honest and upfront as you can with the therapist. Tell them EVERYTHING. They will not judge you, are there to help you and they probably have a lot of experience helping people with what you are dealing with as a gay guy. Usually parents have your best interest at heart. I know as a dad I certainly did with my kids when they were young (now they are: son 37, son 33, daughter 31). I'm sure she is dealing with a lot as well and probably concerned for you, too. What she is doing is surely out of love for you. So, I would say give it a chance, and try to see this from your mother's point of view, too. Good luck to you! You will be fine.
I agree with headsup. Give it a shot, although I do think it's misguided of your Mom (people should be able to define themselves). I always tell people that, even if you don't 100% need it, everyone should benefit from therapy if it's being done appropriately. It's like exercise but mental. HOWEVER, there are a ton of bad therapists out there. I always say your therapist should feel like a member of your team. A support. If it feels like they are against you or judge you, it's not very therapeutic. Best of luck. I hope it's a good experience for you anyway.
TemptingPotato – I’m so sorry to hear that your parents are putting you in such a tough spot. There certainly are people (including your parents, perhaps) who mistakenly think that being gay is a psychological issue – something that can be reversed, cured, or undone. The fact is that the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the World Health Organization all agree that that sexual orientation is not a psychological disorder. In fact, all of these organizations agree that homosexuality is a healthy and natural amongst any species – including humans. Of course, despite all the evidence, there’s always going to be folks on the fringe that will refuse to accept reality. I agree with some of the other responses. Just be yourself, tell the truth, and don’t for one second feel that there is anything wrong or shameful about your sexual orientation. It just is what it is. You have nothing to apologize for and there is nothing to fix. Good luck.
So, the session went past smoothly, I think... The psychologist said, since I have no experience with girls or boys, he is unsure if I really am gay, I actually do have a little bit of experience with a guy, but it's all behind me, he said that I should give girls a chance, and I already did for more than the half of my lifetime, I am only fully gay since the middle of last year, that makes it 15 and a half years of trying out girls and so on, I told him that hugs from girls make me uncomfortable after he asked, he asked if I like hugs from guys and like, it's hard to explain this without making it sound weird, "touch ass" I am not a person who will grope another persons ass, because I know it is uncomfortable when somebody else does it. But he thought when I said that I wouldn't do something like the grope thing, that I meant the hugging part as well, I do like hugs from guys. He also asked me that I should see how I want to spend my life, and with who I should spend it with, he told me I shouldn't come out yet, because the people in my school doesn't understand it completely, little did he know of my coming out video on YouTube which currently has 108 views or something. I told him that I can imagine myself with a girl and he suggested that I am going with some group who are all called gay, and feel pressured into feeling gay, but my homosexual tendencies came way before people actually started taunting me and calling me gay. I didn't tell him about the questions I askes myself whilst finding out my sexuality, but I can only see myself with a guy, I also only have sexual attractions to guys, and I do not share the same feelings with girls at all, everything is different. For me, not to offend anybody. I don't like vaginas, and boobs freak me out. But I couldn't tell him about my sexual attractions, and things that I don't like at all, as well as some of my sexual experiences as well. He said that I can return any time I want, he said we can do a monthly thing if I want to, and I think I want to, just because I went through the form, and saw all the things that fall under the confidentiality and stuff. So I might share more next time I go maybe.
You've taken a good step in. But do you think you should've been a bit more open to him? I think you should've. However, since this was your first appointment with the psychologist, I'd say you've done great.
You have a great deal of support here and if you ever need to talk to someone who may be able to relate to you, you have many people here willing to help in any possible way.
