I'm seeing my therapist again tomorrow, she already knows that I'm trans. I guess she was okay with it, she didn't have any strong feelings one way or the other about it. She just asked me some questions and we talked. I haven't come out as pansexual yet, that's because she didn't know what pansexuality was until last session when I told her (we ran out of time just as I was about to come out). I think she thinks I'm questioning, she assumed that I would date girls but I told her that I've had crushes on guys but we've never talked about non-binary people because she didn't know what they were until last session (I was telling her all this because I wanted to come out!). So, myself coming out as pansexual probably wouldn't be this huge shock for her but I'm still nervous. I've already come out as trans but...I'm still nervous and I don't even know why. I don't know what I'm supposed to say though? All of my previous coming out experiences have been super awkward like I'd sort of avoid the subject before admitting it or I'd try and "soften the blow". I'm thinking I shouldn't think about it tonight because I'm stressing out right now and I'm not even seeing her until around midday tomorrow. She just acts super calm about everything and that makes me sort of nervous? Then, usually, she asks me when I'm coming out to my parents but I've already told her that I don't want to right now (or ever but I guess I'll have to sometime lol). She normally drops the subject of coming out to my family after I say that though. Is there any way that I can keep calm when and before coming out or am I always going to feel nervous about it? :icon_sad: Also, does it actually count as coming out if I think she already knows that I'm not straight or she thinks I'm questioning? She just doesn't know that I am pansexual yet and I want to tell her. Thank you for reading
A good therapist acts as a bouncing board and doesn't impose their opinion on you. So I would imagine if she was accepting of you being non binary, being pan should be no problem. The main thing about a good therapy session is that it should be a safe place for you to explore your inner feelings. Being scarred is normal. Years ago I did a 'full contact' marshal art and faced a guy attacking me with a samurai sword, I found coming out more frightening. So it's OK to be scared about coming out fear is an emotion that can be useful. When I'm dealing with frightening situations I recognize the feelings and say "its OK to be frightened but I'll give it a bash anyway". I find ignoring the feelings of fear doesn't work for me, but admitting that I'm scared and trying to stay calm works for me. Yes it totally counts even if she has totally figured you out, coming out is about you telling others who you are, it's not about what others think. You are doing it for you. (*hug*)
Thank you for your reply, I actually came out as FTM not non-binary but I was telling her about pansexuality and non-binary genders so that when I came out as pansexual she would understand what I meant. I did word it a bit weirdly though so I'm sorry if it was confusing. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who finds coming out frightening, I thought that it was supposed to be not such a big deal after the first time for some reason. I'm hoping that it'll be a bit easier since she already sort of knows that I'm not straight. Thanks again
It gets a lot easier, a lot easier. I have to admire you for coming to terms with yourself at such a young age. (I only figured myself out in my 50's) and sorry for misreading your post.
