I was wondering if I could get some advice on coming out.. I'm rather young, so I fear that my parents won't take me seriously, and if things go wrong, the ensuing five years of my life could be rather terrible- not to mention I have doubts they'd be very willing to pay for my college. I enjoy dressing in masculine manners occasionally as well, and I feel they may restrict that if I mention my confusion on the basis of gender identity, and my gynephilia may encourage them to restrict my interaction with female individuals. My parents don't harshly judge homosexuality, but they don't approve of it (however, their opinion would likely be much more severe pertaining to me, as I am their 'daughter') and often make degrading jokes pertaining to the whole idea of it- calling certain ideas gay as if an insult, for example. They are Christian, and while not very strict Christians, succumb to certain ideas that make me miserably paranoid. I should mention I have a girlfriend I am very happy with, and if possible, plan to stay with as long as our relationship remains healthy and beneficial, and this very much fuels the fear that prevents me from coming out to my parents. ...Does anyone have any idea on if I should come out..? It feels wrong to stay in the closet, but I'm scared, and I don't know how to come out.
Before I give you my advice, I'll mention that I am still very much in the closet, so you can chose to ignore my advice (I'd understand). I would recommend, either having a serious-private conversation with them about everything. Especially if there comments are insulting/offending/hurting you, the issue should be address. The best advice I can give you about them knowing you're serious is to look them in the eyes and giggling (I giggle when I'm nervous or scared) to a minimum as much as possible. Best of luck!
I tend to think that it’s almost always best to be open and honest with those closest to you – especially family. It’s hard to live in an environment where you feel like you’re constantly having to keep something about yourself secret from everyone else. It’s emotionally exhausting and can cause rifts to form between you and those you love. That said, there are some instances where you could make a good case for keeping things to yourself. Being very young and financially dependent on your parents is one of those cases. Until you’re an adult, your parents are going to have a lot of control over you: when you can go out, who you can spend your time with, how you dress, what you’re exposed to, where you go to school, how (or if) college is funded, etc. Only you are in a place to speculate on how they might react. If you feel that there truly is a high possibility that things could get really bad, you may want to consider holding off until you’re done with school and are financially independent. On the other hand, if you don’t think there will be terrible repercussions – you should just go ahead and tell them. Better to clear the air and have a family that you can be authentic around.
If it were me I would talk to the parent/family member you are the closest to that you know is the least judgmental. Now, take what I say with a grain of salt because only my husband knows about my sexual orientation, but like I said I knew he would be the most open to me coming out to him. The next person I would chose to tell is my dad, because we are close. Although I think he would care about it I don't think it would change our relationship in any way what so ever. I don't think I would suddenly get written out of his will just because I told him I was bisexual.
