do I go to my high school reunion?

Go. It most likely won't come up in conversation ever, so unless you go around telling everybody it won't matter.

 

Yes, you should go. Being gay is a part of who you are, not the totality of who you are. Unless you bring a significant other, the questions should be relatively easy. Most of the other people there are going to be nervous about their lives too. I think most people feel they wear a "scarlett letter" of some sort, even though that is hardly true.

 

You can't be kooky with being gay? Wow, you must have missed that week of gay class!

:lol:

I didn't go to my 10-year reunion. I'm sure our situations are highly different overall (I don't feel being gay stains my otherwise perfect life, that's for sure!) but I do understand your feeling that you can't relate to your classmates over being gay. I was single when mine came up and I think if I'd had a boyfriend I would have totally gone, precisely because it would drawn some attention to me. And because it would have been an highly visible, undeniable mark of me being gay.

A lot of the things I've accomplished in life actually have to do with me being gay and coming out and being involved in gay youth activism, and--particularly at my ridiculously exclusive private high school training ground for the future masters of the universe and captains of industry--that's just not something I think that most straight people are really gonna properly "grok" as acheivements. And at that point in my life (about 5 years ago, actually, so I guess this year is my 15-year reunion) I really had no clue what I was gonna do with my life, so overall it seemed pretty pointless.

But it sounds like your issues aren't really anything to do with the reunion but rather not having fully dealt with being gay to the point where it's an integrated part of your life. Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those people who thinks that being gay is "just one more thing" about you... I find that kind of artificial minimalism highly annoying. However, usually how much being gay is a part of your life is very much reflected by how you feel about it and how you treat it. Kinda like coming out: if you make a huge deal about coming out, many people will treat it super-seriously, maybe more seriously and more direly than you actually wanted.

So while I don't actually think the people who are like "I'm a person who happens to be gay" are really capturing the truth of being gay in our society (that's just purely oversimplified wishful thinking, in my opinion), it is true that to a large extent you can set the tone of how people deal with your sexuality. If you go in being all apprehensive about being gay, chances are you'll be received poorly (at least on that count). If you can project some type of nonchalance about it, you'll probably find it doesn't become a huge issue. (This generalisation cannot cover the truly idiotic among society, however, just a word of warning.)

Reunions are kinda weird, really--they're all about showing off, because really it's not like you can communicate meaningful, fundamental changes to people who (generally) you haven't seen in 10 years in the course of one evening.

But my advice is if you can't get yourself to some kind of place where you're relatively at peace about the gay thing, then don't go, because it doesn't sound like you'd enjoy yourself if you did. But you might really want to do some serious reflection on why you feel being gay "stains" (I mean, that's an incredibly strong and harsh word) the rest of your life. Whose standards are you using when you make that judgment? What assumptions are underlying that way of seeing things? What stereotypes are in play? Because it sounds like you've made being gay into a huge albatross around your neck--and it really doesn't have to be.

One thing you might not have considered is that some proportion of your classmates are also going to have figured out they're gay too, so it might be fun to go just to see if you can figure out who. *grin*

 

You just named quite a few things that you can talk about and relate to with your colleges. *cough* class mates *cough*

If you don't feel comfortable talking about your sexuality, don't. It is YOUR sexuality...

Plus... I mean whats the worst that could happen... these people all hate you... when is the next time you will see them? 10 years from now? You deserve to be happy! Go! Have fun! Think of the old days!


You should go! I'd go with you if I could... high school reunions are the best! You get to hear the greatest stories of what was... I wish I could go! lol now where do you live? lol j/k

 

I think Joeyconnick has some great points. I don't have any specific advice as to whether you should go or not, since I found high school to be little more than a waste of four years of my life and I'd just as soon forget most of the people existed as talk to them. But, your being gay should NOT be the reason for or against going. It is a part of who you are, and if your old classmates can't accept that, tough shit for them, I guess.

 

Go. Then you can tell us who's bald, who has "more to love" now, who has lots of children, etc... lol. And of course, who is gay!

 

GOOD ONE...:roflmao: :roflmao: :lol: :lol:

___________________________________________
PROMISE ME YOU'll GIVE FAITH A FIGHTING CHANCE
LEE ANN WOMACK

 

Glad you are going Nick. 10 year reunions are fun but 20 is even better. I'll have my 30 in three years! My cousin is a lesbian and she brought her partner to the last reunion. Nobody cared and everybody was very friendly to them both.

 

Good decision. I went to several reunions a few months back, friends and co-workers. I was so proud of telling my old friends that I finally figured out that I'm gay (!) . The responses were all very positive. It's not a stain on your life, it's the most beautiful thing that can happen to you (discovering your sexual orientation). Hope you get to that point soon. And let us know how it went. Good luck

 

Yay! I'm proud of you!

You should do one of these ----> (!!)