A while ago I asked in a thread if anyone would mind reading my coming out letter that I wrote to my best friend since childhood. One of the responders said yes, but I never got around to doing it until now. Sorry. :/ I wrote it by hand, and at the moment I'm trying to work up the courage to send it to her. She goes to school in Florida and I live in the Northeast so I'd have to mail it to her. There are some inside jokes in here, but I think you'll get the jist. Here it is: Dear Friend (I don't want to say her name but if she ever sees this she'll know it's me), I have been trying to work up the courage to tell you this, but writing it feels a lot easier so this is how I'm going to do it. Don't hate me. You're my oldest friend (I mean by years we've known each other), and I want you to know, but it's also really hard to rip off this band-aid. Alright, here it goes... I'm gay. I don't know how you're going to react to this but I really hope this doesn't change anything. Even though we don't get to talk a lot anymore you are still really important to me. You will always be my dootie-sis no matter what. And I'm still the same girl you grew up with, making up scavenger hunts, watching Charmed, and playing Mario Party. You are the closest thing I have to a sister. Coming out is still something that is really difficult for me to admit to others, especially out lout. I've been trying to tell you since Neel's graduation party. Every time I try to tell someone I start to feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, so sorry if I seem like I haven't been paying attention when we talk. Only one other person knows so far and the only reason is because she gave me a big push. Apparently she had it figured out for a while, but when we did have the conversation I almost did have a full on panic attack. I'm sorry if you feel like I've been lying to you. You probably have a bunch of questions, or maybe not if you don't want to talk to me. I don't know. Just please call me, or text, or email, whatever. I just want to know if you are still my sister. I will be nothing but completely honest from now on. (and then I signed it) If you've stuck through this letter, thanks!!! I know it's long. :/ Any thoughts??
It looks really good! There's one or two typos, so I just put a new version with some tiny edits (any word with changes has been bolded) in a spoiler text. Spoiler Dear Friend (I don't want to say her name but if she ever sees this she'll know it's me), I have been trying to work up the courage to tell you this, but writing it feels a lot easier so this is how I'm going to do it. Don't hate me. You're my oldest friend (I mean by years we've known each other), and I want you to know, but it's also really hard to rip off this band-aid. Alright, here it goes... I'm gay. I don't know how you're going to react to this but I really hope this doesn't change anything. Even though we don't get to talk a lot anymore you are still really important to me. You will always be my dootie-sis no matter what. And I'm still the same girl you grew up with, making up scavenger hunts, watching Charmed, and playing Mario Party. You are the closest thing I have to a sister. Coming out is still something that is really difficult for me to admit to others, especially out loud. I've been trying to tell you since Neil's graduation party. Every time I try to tell someone I start to feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, so sorry if I seem like I haven't been paying attention when we talk. Only one other person knows so far and the only reason is because she gave me a big push. Apparently she had it figured out for a while, but when we did have the conversation I almost did have a full on panic attack. I'm sorry if you feel like I've been lying to you. You probably have a bunch of questions, or maybe not if you don't want to talk to me. I don't know. Just please call me, or text, or email, whatever. I just want to know if you are still my sister. I will be nothing but completely honest from now on. (and then I signed it)
Thanks for the typo correction, but I've already written it out on paper so that was just when I was typing it. Also, Neel is my brother. It's often spelled with a double "E" or even an "A" in the Indian community.
I think it sounds so good Erzulie. It's honest and straight to the point. The only thing I can say about it is I wish you didn't feel like someone would hate you for being gay. Of course I can't tell you how to feel, but it made me feel sad when I read that part.
Oops, sorry about that :0. I didn't realized you had typed it from paper. Anyways, it looks really good!
I think it sounds great - it sounds like something you're saying out lout as opposed to something you're writing, which is awesome in my book! I can sympathize with it being more difficult to say it to someone in person - I've only been able to manage letters so far too. I think it will get easier with time. Good luck.
Thanks for the feedback everyone! @ecallan: I felt really sad when I was copying that part from the paper too. Most of me thinks that she'll be accepting, but there's a tiny part of me that is terrified that she'll be mad at me for lying to her and not telling her. We don't talk that much as it is but she's like my sister and I don't know if I can deal with losing her friendship.
It's natural to have that sort of fear. We always have doubts and "what ifs" but just know that those are likely not going to be what happens. If anything, I think your friend would be happy that you finally got the courage and trust necessary to reveal one of the biggest parts of who you are as a person. Good luck!
