Confused...

Welcome to EC =D

Don't be scared to see a doctor =] .... they are there to help you. I'm sorry about what happened to you , this could also cause subconscious things like these feelings you are getting...repressed memories can do a number on a person...trust me on that one .

 

Welcome to EC!

OK, let me see if I can clarify this a bit more. You say this happens around straight guys, not gay guys. I'm assuming your ass can't tell the difference between gay and straight guys. If it can, let me congratulate you on having the absolutely strangest gaydar ever. And if it does, you're probably in for a bunch of pain, seeing how about 95% of guys are straight... Do you get this feeling when you see an attractive guy? One you think (objectively) is on the hot side? And do you fantasize about guys at all?

I actually think seeing a counselor might help more than a standard medical doctor. If this IS related to the molestation - and it could be - that'd be the most direct route towards getting beyond it.

Lex

 

Do these guys look anything like the guy who molested you, so far as you can tell?

Whichever, I do think counseling is the way to go.

Lex

 

Hi Justin.

I don't know if my situation will help with yours, but here's what i've been through so far. I was also molested when I was 14, well actually raped. I've always just repressed it. And I never really thought about it until you brought it up, but maybe thats one thing that caused my attraction towards men since that happened at the age most people are figuring their lives out.

I know that I am very attracted to men. I hope I'm not going to offend anyone on here if the words come out wrong. I'm very interested in the straight type men. Flamboyance is a big turn off for me. But for years, I have always checked out good looking men. I've never been with a man, or woman for that matter, but I'm very well aware of my attraction differences.

I used to see a counselor for other reasons around the same time I was molested. My folks made me go. I'm very stubborn, I hate talking to people, especially strangers, about things in my personal life. I never would have gone on my own. In the sessions I never told him what was bothering me or that I was molested. I would always just talk about something else. Not sure if that really helped or not. So if you're anything like me, it is hard to seek counsel on your own. Believe me I know, but it could help with your situation if you think you are having feelings and urges related to an earlier problem in your life rather than just a sexual attraction.

In my case, I'm pretty sure I'm gay. Like I said, I've never been with anyone before, But i know where my eyes have been wondering for years and good looking men are really attractive to me. However, I'm still not really comfortable with myself yet. I'm 24 also, and work in a police dept. I'm deathly affraid of them finding that out about me. As I'm sure you can imagine, being gay in a "tough guy" career wont go over so well. I love my job, my coworkers, and friends.

On the flip-side, Being scared of anyone finding out has kept me from trying to find who I really am. And keeping me from dating and trying to find the right one for me. I feel very lost and alone and get very depressed at times. I'm sure with time, it will get better as I get more comfortable with who I am to start.

If you want to ask anything else or talk, just message me. I hope this all makes sense and hope it kind of helps you with your situation.