Since facebook is really the only way I can talk to some family members now, I was considering coming out as trans on facebook. I've really considered whether or not I should come out to them at all and just change my information and name on my profile to my preferred name and gender. I think the main problem why I haven't come out yet is because I'm worried about what others think of me, also my mum. She's said some things that are a bit transphobic and even went as far as to claim she had premonitions about me having surgery to look like a man, with stubble and everything and she said that I was ugly and that I "destroyed" her daughter. She once also had a trans man patient show up at the place she worked and she literally cried the whole three hours it takes to get home saying that "she was ugly", making it sound like she was the victim of what I chose to do for myself. She's pretty much the reason I have yet to really come out to people right now and I'm not really sure how to handle her in this situation. I tried coming out to her before but she thought the whole thing was something I made up while being manic. Since I don't have to worry about being kicked out anymore, I just wanted to do a general "coming out" on facebook for the sake of friends and family that I can only really see on facebook these days. A lot of people have told me that I need to consider the possibility of living without my mum's approval. I guess that's something I really need to accept instead of hoping she'll change her mind.
Based on what you've described, it sounds to me like your mom already knows (or highly suspects) that you're trans. I can't imagine should would have said these things to you if she didn't already suspect. You might as well just confirm her suspicion so that you can move forward as an authentic person. Putting aside whether or not she already suspects - it sounds like she has some big issues with people who are trans. I can see why her hateful feelings towards trans people would lead you to wonder whether or not others would be of the same view point as her. I think you just have to accept your mom for who she is and not let her view point cause you to think poorly of yourself. These feeling she has likely stem from her own inner insecurities, not from you. She, like everyone else, isn't perfect. You can be choose to be happy and authentic with or without her approval. Even if she disapproves initially, parents have a way of changing their views over time as they see their kids live out happy lives despite whatever their orientation may be. Best of luck.
Hey, thanks for responding! I suppose you're right, I should just do it and be myself. I know that I'm not always going to be treated with respect through my transition or in life, generally, but I was kinda hoping that I didn't have to deal with that with someone I considered to be so close to me. I've already tried to live to her expectations without success or happiness, it's about time that I lived for my own expectations.
I think coming out on Facebook is a good idea. It is a way of publicizing your status/orientation all at once to everyone who follows you on there. Having to tell everyone individually would be exhausting. In addition, everyone can find out and process things on their own terms before you actually have to stand face to face with them - it will take the blow out of any shock or other initial responses people might have to it. Regardless of people's reactions, you are doing this for yourself and ultimately just want to be open and honest with everyone so I think it's your best platform to do just that. Your mom will come around in her own time - you cannot control the way she acts, the same as she cannot control you. As long as you are being honest with yourself, you can't beat yourself up over it.
I recently came out to my brother and friends on Facebook and feel like a different person for it. I struggled for years worrying what people would say and think, turns out everyone is so accepting. So I would recommend doing this if you feel everyone would be happy for you. As for your mom, I'm sure deep down that she will love you no matter what. Have you tried writing a letter to explain things? I tried this before Facebook and it's a whole lot better than trying to say it face to face. Good luck!
Coming out on Facebook is a great idea! You will meet a lot of people who will be very supportive, and people will understand what you are going through a lot more. Your mom will always stay your mom, she will love you, and she just has to accept who you are now, and it may take a fair bit of waiting, but she wille eventually turn around, I'm sure! Good luck!
I did it the other day I posted something about lgbt pride ( i said these are the reasons straight people don't need pride parades I'm not straight give me my parade lol) and also changed my interested in which was previously hidden. So far I've had 2 close people vanish from my friends list but they really don't matter I feel kind of free by doing it
does FB notify you if friends "unfriend" you? just wondering in case i do this because i would like to know who they are in real life so i can avoid them.
