wow... im i feel so wierd. I had phon sex with a guy my cousin hooked me up with while i was drunk... I didnt acutally get off, but he did, twice, now he wants to pay for me a trip across country to visit him after seeing my picture and talking to me on the phone. I dont think i want to do this. I mean i just met him, and he is offering to pay for me to fly from the east coast to the west coast to visit him. i am 19 and he is 24. I have never done, or even thought about doing, anything like this before. I feel aweful becouse i dont know what to do. Even though i know i should say no without even hesitating im not sure. and i feel aweful about not even being able to be sure whether or not i want to say no. Also if i say no, i dont know how to let him down easy, i mean we did have phone sex, and did share intamant pictures... i dont know what to do. i mean i dont know if i feel comfortable with letting a guy i dont even know pay for plane tickets to where he lives just for him to see me. I mean he is attractive, and we have talked on the phone, but i mean how do i know it is who he realy is. Anyone could say anything on the phone. I dont know if im just paranoid, but how do i know he isnt just some serial killer looking for his next victim. I know that might sound like my imagination has the best of me, but honestly I'm not sure if i feel comfortable judging someone's character based soly on internat/phone transactions. Also, it really pisses me off that I am unsure whether or not i should accept his offer to fly out there, becouse i feel like i was raised to be smarter than that, and I hate that i am second guessing myself. Please let me know if you have any advice on the matter. God I feel like such an idiot for even having to ask advice on the matter. please help.
First of all was this the first time you talked to him? If it is I would wait and talk to him more on the phone, not only phone sex but get to know him more. Also if you only talked to him once and he wants you to fly cross country the only reason why he wants to meet you is to have sex. You need to decide if you trust him enough 1) to fly cross country to meet him and 2) have sex with him. If you have any doubts don't do it.
trust your instincts ,your not sure and thats wise . How long have you been talking to this guy? Do you like him as a person rather than a sex object ,do you know enough about him to judge. If you want to meet then do it on your own ground where you will feel safe, why cant he come to you ? If you are dependent on him to fly you over how will you get home if things dont work out ? just my thoughts
defently no.. do not accept.. you talked over the phone and he sent you pictures .. i think thats how like 90 percent of the online dating rapes happen
If he's willing to pay for you to fly accross the country, would he not be prepared to fly to your side and meet you somewhere for coffee where you can assess the situation and decide whether or not to run?
Hey endlessnight I think that if you're unsure about something as important as this then EC is the best place for some decent advice (not that it ever comes from me). The first thing to say is that I really dont think its a good idea to go across to the other side of the country to meet a man, who you dont know. I'm sure the sensible, responsible side of your brain is telling you that there is no way in hell you're getting on any plane to meet any random guy, who by the sounds of it wants to get into your pants. But at the same time your spontaneous, fun, excited of the novelty side of your brain is telling you to bugger all logic and just go for it. You know yourself which side of your brain you should listen to. If he was that desperate to get to know you he'd be the one on a plane, not you. Why should you trek to his territory for his pleasure. Dont worry about letting him down, if he rings tell him you were very drunk and phone sex was fun at the time. The reason you might be contemplating going is because you want a bit of excitement...honestly go bungee jumping it would be safer. Ultimately its your choice what side of your brain you're going to listen to, and if you decide to go remember to keep safe. Dont go anywhere on your own with him that isnt too far away from the public and use condoms. good luckxxx
If you have to ask us, then you should wait to get to know this person much better before you do something like this. Use your intuition. It works.
It's as if you're asking us to give you a reason not to do it. You don't know this guy, he could be anyone. As the above posters said, don't do it.
Well if your cousin PERSONALLY knows him, then I guess you can do it in a while. But if he doesn't, i'd definately wait a LOT longer before you do anything like that.
the fact that you feel unsure of what to do means you should get to know him better. and if you ever do go. take a friend. never meeet someone you dont know that well alone.
If it'll kick ass now, then it'll kick ass later. Wait. Say "I'm totally flattered by the offer, but I think I'd rather get to know you better before we do anything like that." Lex
You're right to be wary. Many people get hurt or worse from meeting people on the computer. They can say they are whoever they want you to think they are. This is a dangerous game. Don't play it. The other posters are right. Get to know him before running across the country to meet him. And even then,I'd be very careful.
If you don't know him as a person (rather than just a voice who says sexual things at the other end of a phone and a couple of nude photos), don't meet him. I'd say the best way to tell him is to say that you really want to give it time, and only meet up when you feel like you know each other better.
Yeah, they're all right of course. You simply don't know enough of this guy to put yourself at the level of risk that he wants you to. You know that anyhow, don't you? That's where your indecision stems from. If you fly across to the West Coast, you'll be in an unfamiliar area where your normal support network is totally out of reach. If anything unsavoury occurs you'll be on your own and wholly vulnerable. Ask yourself, "is it normal for someone to offer little more than an aquaintance 'free travel' over to the other side of the country". Only you can make the ultimate decision, but there are definately issues here that you need to feel confident on before agreeing to go. Please think very carefully and take care. X
Yeah. I really doubt I will do it. I mean the Idea sounds fun and all, but I dont know him that well. It makes me uncomfortable that he became so attatched to me knowing so little about me. I mean he kept talking about it like he was convinced I would go, and I told him that I didnt think it would be a good Idea to just run off and meet someone off the internet, especially to a place where i dont know anyone, or how to get around there. But he really kept pushing it. I feel kind of dumb for even toying with the thought.
