Hello, I am in the closet. However, recently my best friend of 8 years came up to me and asked me, "Are you gay?". I deflected the question by asking why she'd think that I was. She went on to tell me that she's been wondering/suspecting for a year, due to a text that she claims popped up on my phone once when I'd left my phone near her (which is possible). However, I did not tell anyone nor did I have a relationship or budding-romance at the time. I managed to deflect the conversation and began talking about something else. I know I could trust my friend and she would be accepting; but I don't know if I'm ready. Will I ever be ready? this could be a chance. I don't want to lie, but I'm terrified!
Just go with it I told my friends and it worked out fine (although I'm Pan, not Gay, but I felt the same terror)
I was in the same boat as you last year! Lying might make it easier for now, but it seems like you eventually want to come out to her considering you didn't deny her flat-out like I did the first time this happened to me. My friend eventually gave me a huge shove out of the closet a few weeks after that happened. If saying it out loud is the issue for you (like me) then maybe you should write a letter. With a letter you can take as much time as you need to write it, and read it over, and make sure that you're saying exactly what you want in it. It might make you feel like you have a little more control in how you come out. I've written a letter to the next person I want to come out to, and I'm currently trying to work up the courage to mail it (she lives really far away). If you want to read it it's in a post a few threads down called "Coming out letter to my childhood best friend." Hope this was helpful, and best of luck!
The only thing with telling your friend is... since you don't say how old you are, if you are still in school, you have to consider how safe the secret is with your friend. While we'd like to believe that confidences like this will stay confidential, this can be one of those pieces of gossip that is just.. too much to hold onto, and often people will tell "just one friend" with a promise that said friend won't repeat it, and... from there it often goes all over. Other than that, if the friend is trustworthy, or if you're possibly ready for the word to start getting out, then definitely go for it.
