My mom's side of the family is very conservative, and before I muted certain relatives on Facebook, homophobic posts regularly appeared on my home page. I really want to come out to them, so they'll see my face when they start thinking about how same-sex couples shouldn't be allowed to marry. Yes, there's a chance that I'll end up with a guy anyway, since I'm bi, but I don't want to try to pretend I'm not attracted to girls as well. I'm worried it'll add an extra dynamic to it though. Like, maybe they'll see my liking both guys and girls as some sort of crossroads and try to urge me toward "the right path"? I don't know, and it's slowly driving me insane. I'd really like to just tell them I'm bi and get it off my chest. I've been waiting to come out in person, but I visited my mom's family over Thanksgiving and completely lost my nerve about it. I'm considering coming out on social media, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Once it's on social media, everyone will know, and I don't think. I'm ready to deal with that yet. (That's why I haven't told my dad's side of the family. They'd be totally cool with it, but my granddad would almost certainly end up telling all the people he knows, and he's a very social person.) My mom suggests that I wait until next year, go to my new college and get settled, join the school's LGBTQ+ support group, and then come out to her family once I've got a group of people to fall back on if it goes poorly. However, I'm not sure I can wait that long. They're good people. The worst they're likely to do is pray for my soul, right?
It sounds like your keeping this thing a secret is causing you to experience a lot of anxiousness and anxiety. If coming out to them will enable you to relax and free your mind from having to constantly think about what they will say or do – then why not go ahead and tell them? You could either tell them now, deal with their reaction, and then move on knowing that you’ve gotten this thing off your chest and made yourself known. Or you could wait a year, expend lots of brain power worrying about it, and then tell them. My guess is their reaction would be the same today as it would be one year from today – so why not spare yourself a year of having to think about it? I agree with your mom that it’s always helps to have a support group to fall back on. That said, it sounds like your parents are on your side already. There’s always communities such as this one as well. Whenever and however you choose to tell them, just make sure not to take anything too personally. Generally when people react with hate or disapproval, it’s a reflection on issues and fears that they have – not a reflection on you. Best of luck.
