So, basically I'm pretty sure that I'm bisexual. I think about it a lot and had some low times because of it, but I never talked about it with anyone. The thing is, I have a boyfriend and I've been in a relationship with him for over 1 and a half years now and that kind of makes things even more confusing, so I'm wondering that maybe I should just not think/talk/whatever about it any more. I'm afraid if I do people might think I'm probably a lesbian and just using my boyfriend as a cover-up.. Which I don't; I honestly didn't even think myself that bisexuality was a thing, I thought my sexual orientation was switching between homo- and heterosexual until I realized I just really do like both at the same time and pretty equally, I guess. Any thoughts/advice?
It's not about what other people think, it's about what you feel is right for you. My wife came out to me and years later our wider group of friends. It was obvious and made clear to all that she was very happy in her present situation (married to me). It meant that she had the freedom to comment about good looking women with me. It also meant she felt that she could be herself all the time. that That was a number of years before I came out as gay. (I've a complicated life /relationship) As with any coming out you need to figure out the possibility of a bad reaction - are they bible thumpers etc. Remember it's all about doing what's right you.
Given that you feel relatively confident that you are indeed bisexual, I see no real downside to telling your boyfriend. There’s no reason for your boyfriend to feel threatened by your bisexuality. If he wasn’t threatened by the idea of you being straight (i.e. attracted to guys, including guys other than him), then why should he be upset if you toss girls into the mix too? Those who are bisexual can be and are just as loyal and loving to their partners are those who are straight. If anything, your level of openness and honesty is likely going to serve to deepen the bonds of trust in your relationship. Say that he reacts negatively to the idea – i.e. he feels threatened, doesn’t see it as being right, or just isn’t at all comfortable with the entire concept of anyone being bisexual – that’s ok too. You’re better off discovering this now and moving onto someone who is more accepting of who you are than investing more time and emotions into something that isn’t 100% authentic. With regards to this concern: From everything I’ve seen, it’s more acceptable to be perceived as a lesbian or gay than it is to be perceived as bisexual. People have an easier time wrapping their heads around absolutes – i.e. being 100% attracted to one sex or the other, rather than both. If you’re coming out as bisexual from the get go, I doubt that many would seriously question it. The fact that you have a healthy relationship with a guy is pretty concrete evidence that your are, at least at some level, attracted to guys.
Thanks for the advice (and the time you took to give it!!) It really means a lot to me and it helped me too. Thank you
