Do most non-binary people come out to everyone they know, or just people who they think would take it seriously and understand? I have some friends and lots of relatives who would just be really confused by it, especially things like pronouns and names. I know it's their problem, not mine, but there doesn't seem to be much point in it. Also (don't know if this is the same for lots of non-binary people) I can't seem to articulate why I think I'm genderqueer, it's just a feeling or something, so explaining it to people would be...complicated...so ideas? Thanks xx
It's your choice to come out to everyone, only a few people, or no one at all if you're fine with it. Not everyone wants to be open about their identity for specific reasons or because they just don't want to go through the hassle. If you don't want to be out now and decide to come out later, that's fine. If you don't want to go through the trouble and think you'll be happy not telling your friends or family, that's super. If it's because you don't know how to express yourself, that's okay too. Not everyone can find words to explain how they know - it's just a feeling. Feelings are complicated and can't be explained really. For example, no one really knows how to explain love, they just know they love someone because they stick together through everything or they're just special enough to go out of your way to please them or something. Yet it's a feeling everyone knows, right? Of course some feelings are easier to explain than others and your gender identity isn't an easy feeling to understand much less talk about it oftentimes. Now if you want to find out how to explain your feelings, that's a different concept that might need a little more insight in order to help you with. For me, the only way I can really explain it is that being a girl doesn't make me happy at all. I don't connect with it. I never feel girly or feminine, especially when I'm doing anything I deem feminine unless I'm doing it for a joke. However, when I call myself a guy I automatically feel like a surge of happiness inside and like all negativity has been cleansed from me. I feel happy and heavenly when I do anything I deem boyish like wearing a sports jersey to make me feel jockey even though I'm not a sports person or when I wear clothes you find in the men's section. It makes me feel manly and very arrogantly pleased with myself like I'm on cloud nine. That's the only way I can explain to others my feelings about my being a trans dude instead of another gal. Your case might be different, but if you want to find out how to de-complicate your feelings, perhaps write or type up a list of examples of situations that make you feel this way or don't, or think back to how to stumbled upon thinking "Hmm, I might be genderqueer."
Wow thank you, this really helped and answered all my questions! Glad to know you think it's okay to just come out to whoever I'd like to, and actually I can sort of relate to how you knew you weren't a girl. At any rate your ideas of how to articulate my feelings sound super helpful, thanks dude :icon_bigg
You're incredibly welcome! I know this is a hard journey for anyone and I'm glad I can answer your questions. I hope it works out for you and you find your right pace for your process. Remember it's always important to be most comfortable with yourself.
