So I want to meet guys safely, and I'm not looking for a one night stand, no thanks. I've tried dating apps, but they're all for hookups, I went to a gay bar once and even that seemed like a waste of time. I want to go to some sort of gay event, where I can meet guys that aren't just looking for sex! I mean, I do want it, but I don't want it straight away, and it's not the main priority I'm searching for. I'm more interested In making friends to spend time with and talk to, maybe go on dates at some point but for the time being I feel like I know nobody, and I can't seem to get anywhere! :dry:
You can get dates from dating sites and "hook up" apps. I've gone on plenty from both. I just make it clear that I want to date. As far as staying safe, have your first date in public. Go for coffee, an activity like bowling or for a walk. A movie can be a thing but you don't get to interact much. It might seem like everyone is interested in only hooking up but there are plenty of guys who want to date!
Do you enjoy athletics? There are a massive number of LGBT sport leagues that you can get involved with. Do an online search for London Gay Sports Groups and you will find some lists that aggregate them all. I belong to one of them, and aside from the actual sporting events, there are social meet ups and other activities that the group does together. It is completely non scene, very relaxed and whether guys are into the scene or not, at the events, everyone is there to enjoy the sport and have a good time while meeting new people.
Expanding on what OnTheHighway recommended for athletics – many cities (especially large metropolitan cities) have LGBT clubs build around certain hobbies: video game clubs, book clubs, travel clubs, investment clubs, art clubs, and on and on. Clubs are a great way to meet people – and you’ll have an interest in common right from the get go. It’s much more laid back than bars.
You'll do best with On The Highway's suggestions. IF there are Meetup.com groups for gay people in your area, that's a good option as well. The idea is, if you meet someone in an activities-oriented environment, then it's less of a meat market, and you're likely to have a chance to meet and get to know someone. In general, dating sites, hookup apps, bars and clubs are usually not such a great way to find someone unless you're looking for hookups or relationships that are focused primarily on sex, as the overwhelming majority of people in those places are... looking for sex. There are, of course, exceptions, but that's the general pattern.
I feel ya. Most people on those sites are only looking for sex but not everybody is. You just have to make it clear in your profile what you are looking for. That should filter most people who are looking for a one night something out and those who are looking for what you are looking for will be more likely to message you. For those who do contact you, its generally pretty easy and quick to tell what they are after. Gay bars are a little trickier but its also pretty easy to tell there as well. Do you click with the person? Are they interested in getting to know you as a person? Or, are they just rubbing all over you without even asking your name? That is a good way to tell.
