I regret coming out to my mother. Behind my back she told everyone in my family that I was trans. Even though I told her I wanted her to not say anything about it to anyone. That I wasn't ready yet. She doesn't see how she made any mistake with telling everyone. She said, and I'm not interpreting her words, this is exactly what she said, that I shouldn't have told her. I'm shocked. Shouldn't parents be there for you to always talk to? Isn't that what parents are supposed to say? "I'm here and you can talk to me about anything." Also since telling her she hasn't once asked me how I was feeling about this and what I was going through. The only thing she has said is how hard everything is for her. You know, I get that. But I don't think that her problems about all of this should be a bigger topic than how I feel. Because I am very depressed and since she reacted this way I'm afraid of doing anything about me being trans. I swing back to being a "normal girl" more and more. I'm insecure. I think about death everyday, because if my own mother reacts this way, how am I ever to tell any of my extended family? I just can't see myself doing that. I have 3-4 more years before I can move out and get out of school. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to get through that... Also I feel like I won't be able to tell anyone even after school and movong out just because I'm scared of how people will react.. I just want to die. And I know people say that a lot but I actually mean it.. I don't see a future. ---------- Post added 2nd Feb 2016 at 08:15 PM ---------- She looks at me like I was wrong. Like I wasn't how I'm supposed to be. Like being trans is disgusting and I should be ashamed of it. And I've adapted that. I do feel wrong and weird and disgusting and not normal..
I feel the same from time to time. But at least, for me, it got better. And I mean, it got better in like, a month or two. Then it gradually got better and better and now my mom looks at me pretty much like normal (it hasn't been that long yet). I understand if you feel a bit insecure around your family now because of this, and you are not to blame. I recommend seeking support from others right now.
I’m so sorry your mother betrayed your trust. Moms are supposed to be the one person in the world that is on our side no matter what. It was wrong of her to break that bond – especially since you chose to confide something so vulnerable with her. Regardless of her reaction, I don’t think you should feel regret for telling her. Telling her was a courageous move. You – rightly so – wanted to share your authentic self with her. That’s a very good thing to do. Many people (myself included) weren’t able to do it until much later in life. It was wrong of her to spread your secret around when you weren’t ready – but now it’s done. It can’t be undone, so the best you can do is roll with it. If some of the people she told aren’t going to be accepting of it – or are going to be outright hostile – then separate yourself from those people. You don’t want them in your life anyway if they can’t accept you for you. The same goes for school. It’s OK if some people aren’t accepting. You’re better off figuring out who those people are so that you can move on and find the right group of people to hang out with. For each person that isn’t accepting, there is someone else that is accepting. The only way to surround yourself with awesome friends is to “prune” your relationships– to figure out who the bad apples are and disassociate yourself from them. You’re in a dip right now. If you hang on long enough and just trust in who you are – regardless of what others think about it - you’ll pop right out of the dip before you know it.
although im not transgender, i can say that i have a very similar mother, if i told her im gay she would tell EVERYONE. im not kidding on that, she would tell my dad, my sister (even though she already knows) our neighbors, her friends, possibly even the college i go to (to "make sure im not harassed for it"). except from my mothers point of view, she has a son who is a minority which she would probably get a kick out of so be too proud of it to keep it a secret. with this sort of similar style of mother I can say that whatever you do, dont act on those thoughts of death, that will only make things WAY worse for everyone. remember that eventually your mother will get used to the idea, and perhaps everything will sort of go back to normal. I told my sister and immediatly afterwards regretted it massively, fearing the change. but remember you dont owe your family anything in that area, you dont owe it to them to not be transgender, you owe it to yourself to be who you are, thats what matters in the end!
I wanted to die when I was your age. That time in my life was hell on earth, and I didn't see a way out. But I'm 35 now, it did get better, a lot better. Just because you can't see a way out or think you can't survive doesn't make it true. Dream of a future, even if it's just a dream. Pick something to immerse yourself in, music, art, books, movies, whatever you love. Dont give up, life is worth making it through the next few years.
Aye, my mom told me it was the devil. :| So I get it. A few months ago I wanted to die, but know I'm happy I'll be going to college in 6 months. One day I'll be like, "I told you so." Good Luck!
