desperately need help

Welcome to EC!

You need someone to call you out on it? Fine - let it be me. Gargoyle calling bullshit. You're gay. There. Done.

Seriously, though, it is time you started getting your brain into the right spot. Everything you see in your future? It's still possible. Wife, kids, stable job, nice house, white picket fence, whatever. The only difference is that your wife is gonna have a penis. Because being gay means exactly and precisely one thing. You dig guys. That's it. That's all. Nothing else stems from it. Nothing else happens. You don't have to wear the rainbow short-shorts, and crank the house music, and kick your voice up an octave. (You CAN - it's just not required.) Absolutely nothing else in your life has to change.

Who will be your support network? Well, you can start with us. That's what we're here for. We can be your warehouse of information when you need it, your agony aunt when you need advice, your shoulder to cry on when you need to turn on the waterworks, and your cheerleading section when you need someone to tell you to go out there and kick ass. Many of us have been through what you're going through now, or something similar, and so can offer a bit of insight as well as "here's how it was for me".

So, where to start? At the beginning. You seem to think you're gay. Fine. Let it happen. Be gay. Try looking in the mirror each morning and saying "I'm gay". Eventually, it won't feel like you're admitting to murdering someone, and that knot in your stomach will go away. Then, mentally, be gay. Feel free to think gay things, and say to yourself "Yeah, that guy's kinda cute" without trying to push the thought away. Don't LEER or anything but look, smile, and move on. If you fantasize about guys when you masturbate, cool - go whole hog into it. Don't sort of tentatively kinda think about it. Go nuts with it. If you look at gay porn, cool - look at gay porn. And when you finish, don't feel horrible about what you thought about, or what you were looking at. Feel good about it, because sex (even solo sex) kicks ass, and whatever made it feel better is all to the good.

Hang tight. Life kicks ass on the other side, and we'll get you there yet.

Lex

 

LOL now that made me laugh!

No, if your penis is smaller it doesn't mean that you're the wife.

Heck! Neither of you have to be the wife!

 

Its hard now but I know you'll get though it and again like Lex said feel free to talk to any of us. We're here to help.

 

lmao!

 

>>>>I have many questions, but the main one i guess is that if my "wife's" penis is bigger than mine, then does that make me the "wife?"

I actually got this question once. "So, which one of you is the woman?" To which I said, "Neither one. See, that's where that whole 'gay' thing comes into play..."

I actually know a drag queen whose over six feet tall, hairy as a mammoth, and built like a linebacker. You can watch her teaching me to dance in that staff interview video...

>>>i really want to be happy with myself, and my thoughts, but damn...its just so hard to break a mind set.

You'll get there. It's tough to fumble your way through coming out if you aren't friends with anyone who has done it before. There's a ton of uncertainty, tons of questions, "is this natural?", "is this OK?". And in many ways, that's what this section of EC is all about. Any time you have a question, or rumination, or complaint, or want to make fun of the Denver Broncos, feel free to post here. Or in a new thread. Or, if you'd rather take it more private, or want to contact me direct, you can send me a "private message". As a new "regular member", you'll only be able to PM staff members and advisors, but hey - I'm one. Just click on my name to the left, and select "send private message".

Lex

 

Ok, I have to say this whole thread was hysterical! I really enjoyed reading it and definitely what I needed after this week lol.

Anyways, limfjord96, I know what you're feeling. I've been there the past few weeks myself. Not ever having been with someone, but knowing you have such a strong attraction for guys. Wondering what everyone will think. Wondering who to come out to. I've also asked myself "Why me? I don't even want this". My thread is here rather than writtinng it again lol.

I just joined EC here this week. Everyone here seems to be great and it is definitely a good place to talk with people who are going through the same thing, been there already, or just offering you support. (So thanks everyone btw!) I wish I found this a lot sooner. And limfjord96, if you need to chat, just msg me. It sounds like we are pretty much in the same spot right now.

 

A slightly late welcome to EC
Most people who realise that they're gay don't want it to be true. But as Lex said, being gay doesn't mean you'll become a woman, or even one of those flaming gay guys you see on TV. It doesn't mean that you'll be a wife, or be any less masculine than you are now, or basically that you have to become anything you're not. You like guys. That's all. You can still have the happy life you've always dreamed of, it might just take a slightly different path to get there.

 

Welcome to EC! :smilewave Lex hit it on the exactly on the spot. I joined EC about 8 months ago and I was in a very similar situation. I got sick when I would try to call myself gay. I slowly started to accept myself. I hung out here, a bit read others postings and added a few of mine own. Now I am soo happy. I know I have a place in the world and I will not be alone anymore. I have been dating for a few months and been with one guy for almost 2 months (thats another story).

If I can give you any advice is to first come out to yourself. Be comfortable with it. Its fine to look at hot guys and to look at porn. Do so and don't feel bad about it. You may want to join a LGBT group like PFLAG or one at your school. Once you feel more comfortable then you can start coming out to others. I started to come out to a few people over the past week. I came out to my sister only a few days ago.

 

Hell, I'm a girl and I'll take my running shoes over my high heels any day of the week

 

It's "sequins"!

 

>>>It's "sequins"!

Lex gives Markio's pink card another punch...

Lex

 

Hi Limfjord Danish, huh?
I feel like I know a bit of the feelings you're talking about. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with this. I can imagine how hard it must be with all those brothers. I have a twin brother, who I haven't told yet. Not because I think he'll react badly to it, but because I suspect his friends might do.

I thought I was gonna die the first couple a times I came out. I was literaly stuttering. And sometimes I still can't believe it, and I question my self: "maybe you just haven't met the right guy yet", "maybe all girls feels this way about their best girlfriend" and so on. But as time has gone by, those thoughts get fewer. And some day they'll go away, but you gotta help them along. Don't fight your feelings, work with them and get to know them.

Good luck, I hope you're gonna be happy soon

 

I'm a twin and I am scared to death to tell my brother. When I came out to my sister she said she thought he would take it well after the initial shock. I am still not too sure what I am going to do. I will probably tell my parents first then my brother, I hope.

 

Ha ha.Me too! I hate high heels.

 

I know this is extremely late, BUT OH WELL! Welcome to EC!

Anyway, I haven't been on this site long, but the people here seem really great. I've been through the same thing (and am still partially going through) with the whole sexual identity. I keep telling myself that I probably just haven't found the right guy yet and that if I wait he'll show up. I actually managed to force myself to ignore it for a year (self-denial, oh how I love you.:dry I refused to admire anyone and disconnected myself from all things romance, including most of my emotions/feelings. I've just started accepting that I most likely dig chicks over dicks, even if it's still hard.

And the whole gay stereotype can be a load of bull. I can tell you right now if I start dating girls I'm not going to go out, get a buzz cut, get five piercings, and start getting into burp competitions. I doubt that your going to run around commenting on 'how those shoes go great with your outfit!'. Try to push those common images out of your brain and act like you normally would.

With your friends, you would be surprised how accepting most people can be. I've told my mom and seven friends, and not one has taken it badly! They just consider it another part of who I am. Your friends will probably be the same. The hardest part is starting the conversation to admit that your gay to them (ugh, worst part). It's awkward at the time but it's a huge relief.

Anyways, I wish you luck with figuring it all out. Don't hesitate to talk to me or others, we'll try to help in any way we can!

 

an easy way to accept your homosexuality is if a friend of yours does i coudnt say im gay out load even when i was alone untill i told my friend