Hello. My name's Cole. I was assigned female at birth but have always been in question of my gender but have by now, at the age of 25 figured it out. I'm genderfluid but I identify the most with male and neutrois. After a long period of thinking and a lot of great moral support from my lovely partner I have decided on starting the transition to be legally considered a male. While I have managed to come out to my partner an my closest circle of friends I have yet to come out to my parents. My partner is agender and when I told my parents about them there was a little stir as my mother did accept it but did add that she hoped that I would "find a man in the end". I know both my parents love me very much but my mother has not have the most positive of attitudes towards transgender people of any kind, which has caused me to get frightened in coming out to her. I've been considering sending her a letter (I'm right now living in another country than my family so time to sit and skype is minimal) where I could explain everything without getting interrupted and also reassure her that I love her and my father very much and I know that they love me. In the same time I'm worried that this would perhaps be seen as a cowards choice but when we're on skype I just can not muster up the courage to speak about it and our sessions are usually so short that we wouldn't have time to go through it in a calm and undisturbed manner. Does anyone have any tips on how I can do this? Is my letter idea a good idea or not? Any advice from people that's been in the same situation or have any input is more than appreciated.
Hi Cole! I, personally, am a fan of letters because I believe it let's you write out exactly what you want to convey without having to answer questions before you're done. Also, as someone who's not great about starting personal face-to-face conversations, I've found this easier. However, it really depends on what you would feel most comfortable with. You could combine the letter/skype option by sending a letter and saying that you're open for discussion about it during your next skype session. This will let them have some time to think about what they're curious about and want to ask, and show that you're open to talking about it.
Thank you for your answer. I feel a little reasured that my writing idea does not seem like a bad idea and as soon as I can I'll get to that letter. I've always been better with the written words than with the spoken one after all. And it will give me and my mother some time to mature the thoughts and hopefully I'll get a positive response. Once again, thank you.
Update on the situation I did write a letter to my mother and father and though they said it would take them a little moment to get used to it they both assured that they did indeed love me and that they accept me no matter what. I am more than relived. Thanks again for the tips and encouragement.
