Basically, ever since last summer I can actually be sure that I'm bisexual. I've been chewing on that realization for 8 months, not wanting to think or talk about it, though I think about it way too often. I had hoped that I realize in the end that I just imagined it or that it was a phase. But yesterday I thought maybe I could tell my best friend - after all he's been there for me for every single thing that's happened to me the past few years. When I wanted to, and I was close (I couldn't do that in person, gosh I tried via Whatsapp), I felt like I snapped and I fell down a pit of denial.. Suddenly I was like "WAIT?? What the f*** are you doing, that's just a stupid thing that'll pass and in the end you'll regret telling that to someone. I'm straight I'm straight" And those times I crushed on girls, cried when realizing that it's hopeless or feeling my heart and mind race when they lick their lips/our hands touch/ etc. seemed like I just imagined every bit of it. I freaked out so bad I just cried for 2 hours and told him I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him about what's bothering me yet and he was so sweet and kind, I know that I could tell him.. It's just that I thought that I had come to terms with my sexuality but now that it actually gets real my brain just denies all of it. I don't know what to do. I'm seriously thinking about just suppressing the "i want girls" side of me forever, because I honestly don't want to. It makes everything so much more complicated. I'm sorry if that's too long I just really hope for some advice I feel so lost.
I totally understand what you are going through, I was in the exact same position wanting to tell someone about what I was feeling but when it came down to actually saying the words I couldn't. It took me around 7 months to finally tell my friend about how I was feeling, that I possibly might like girls but I wasn't sure. When I finally mustered up the courage and told her about it, I felt so relieved to get it off my chest and express what I was thinking. She gave me some great advice and since speaking to her I have finally accepted myself that I am in fact attractive to girls. My advice is to take the plunge and talk to your best friend, like you said he has supported you so much over the past couple of years, my guess is he will be support you this time. I did not know whether I was gay/bisexual, talking to someone really helped me. Keeping all of it inside was driving me insane. After talking to my friend I felt so much better, yes it is going to be a tough conversation to have but I would really recommend that you have it. Good Luck x
Yeah, get it out there, let your friend know he sounds like he will support you. If you still have that feeling that you're unsure in telling him tell a therapist or something. You'll feel good about it and you'll have someone to talk to about it too. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice! I did. I told him and I told him everything that was keeping me in that bubble of despair and guilt around me I feel like he lifted 50 tons off my shoulders.
