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Ready to Come Out to Friends

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cubxu, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. Cubxu

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So I've been at university up in Manchester since September now. I quit all my dating apps when I got up here, and only got involved with the LGBT society once, and also only been to gay village once. In truth, I haven't done much in the grand scheme of things of exploring my sexuality.

    However, despite not trying anything out with the same sex before, I know I'm bisexual. I've started to look at guys more often, and I want to start coming out to people. I've made some awesome friends up here, and I really want to be honest with them.

    Now here's where my dilemma comes in. I'm a bit stuck on how to go about it. I'm not sure who to tell first. While I did kind of hint to an American exchange student my feelings towards the same sex (she saw me at a LGBT society meeting), I haven't come out to someone I know very well. Someone who lives in my halls out-right asked me, but I chickened out and denied it. I wish I didn't now...

    So here are my options: there's a gay guy on my course who lives in my hometown that I'd like to tell (not because I like him per say, he has a boyfriend anyway), but I never catch him alone and he isn't one of my closest friends; I have my future flatmates for second year, and I want to be honest with all of them before I live with them, especially since one of them came to me for advice about relationship issues; there's also a lot of us on our course, and I'd like to come out to a couple of them, but I don't want it being spread about. People can get chatty when drunk.

    So what's the best way I can go about this? Start at one and work my way up? Explore my sexuality more? This scares me so much, and any advice would be great.

    Also, I live with a couple of people at the moment who I wouldn't say are outright homophobic, but they get a little on edge when it's brought up. My flatmates for next year live close to me anyway and gossip spreads quick in these student halls.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Confusedmoose

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Cubxu. I would start with the person who you know will be the most understanding and work your way up when you are ready. I'm not out to everyone yet, but I have found that having a couple of people in your corner makes it a lot easier to come out to other people. Maybe start with the guy from your hometown or someone that you are more close with.
     
  3. Billy the kid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Come out to a friend you trust, someone that you think will be most accepting. Once you do that you can have them with you for support when you tell others. You will feel good once you start to come out.

    You should also come out to your gay friend with the boyfriend. He should be a great person to go to for advice and support too. He may be the right person to come out to first as well. Either him or a good friend. Just ask him if he has some time to talk in private and tell him.

    You seem like your ready, so pick someone and tell them. Your going to be fine when all is said and done. Good luck and let us know how it goes!