Hey everyone :icon_bigg , I'm new here; just made my account and I'm already looking for advice. See the thing is, I'm already out. Most people know I'm bisexual, but I'm also non-binary, and most people don't know that part. The majority of people I came out to as bi had positive reactions, but I'm not so sure things will be the same for this. My family can't understand non binary genders. They think you can only be male or female (they also don't get the difference between gender and sex). Some of my friends understand, but whether they'd be comfortable with me being non binary is a different story. I've heard LGB people even say that non binary people aren't real, and I often question whether I really am. I would really like to be out- when the small group of people who do know use they/them pronouns, I get this rush of happiness, and it feels like they're actually talking to me. With she/her, it's more like a kick in the stomach. Sometimes I'm okay with being mistaken for a boy, because it means I've been seen as something other than "girl" (I'm AFAB). I'd also like to use a different name that's more gender neutral so I won't feel like my own name "gives me away". I'd like to bind too, but I worry that my family will notice. I know I've rambled, but what I'm getting at is how do I come out to my family who understand non binary genders? How do I explain it simply? Has anyone been in the same boat and be able to help out? It would be really appreciated (*hug*) Thank you! (&&&)
Well what I did was write a letter and in the letter explain what different words meant. I then said what my gender meant to me. I think that is important because it's more personal. My parents didn't really get it though so I'm trying again! This time however, I've got five friends behind me so I've got someone to talk to. Have you got someone you can trust a lot? Maybe a best friend or a cousin or aunt/uncle/grandparent? Maybe having someone else on your side might help. Good luck - xøSeth
This is exactly the same thing I'm dealking with, tbh I nearly thought this was my own post for a split-second XD I don't really have any advice because I'm still working on telling my parents I'm non-binary, but I can offer some empathy on the situation. I totally get what you mean, at least my parents are getting better with breaking away from the idea of only being solely a gender binary.
My general advice is that whenever you're explaining something to someone that you're sure you yourself know 1000 times better than the one you're talking to, do it on the most basic level. Not in a condescending way, of course, but explain in terms of your feelings rather than bombard them with terminology such as non-binary - otherwise there is the risk that they might be very confused and uncomfortable, and therefore less likely to offer compassionate, loving acceptance, and more likely to be adverse to the idea and blame it on your character or denounce the validity of your identity in a hurtful way. Of course you can use words like non-binary, as long as you explain what they mean carefully. Think of it in terms of, like, how would you like to have something you've never heard about before be explained to you? Then explain like that to them.
