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Is this your experience, too?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kayar, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. kayar

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    Hey guys! I guess I'm looking to know if the feelings I'm having right now are anything like the same as you guys are having. Any other comments or observations you are good enough to make will be appreciated and taken on board.

    In an earlier posting I explained how I'm planning 'my next outing event' to be at a weekend conference I'm going to in late March. I already know most of the other 'attendees' (about thirty in all), but none of them yet know I'm gay. I've chosen them as the next group of people I'm going to 'come out' to, because I'm confident they'll respond with support and praise.

    Now for the new bit! I'm really surprised the way I'm feeling about my plan. I expected I'd probably be anxious or apprehensive, yeah? Instead I feel I can't wait! From now until March 21st (the start of the conference) seems ages away and I'm actually feeling really impatient, and not at all nervous. Is that a normal reaction?

    I'm also starting to feel that I'm not as vulnerable to the reaction of others about my being gay. It used to worry me, but I think I must be getting used to and increasingly more comfortable with my real identity; so that I don't essentially need the 'approval' of others as much any more. Am I making any sense here? I'm desperately trying to rationalize things, but I must to be careful not to ruminate so long as to suffer what I like to call 'analysis paralysis'.

    I think what is of concern to me about the impatience I'm feeling about 'coming out', is whether my eagerness is well founded and 'normal'; or some form of 'adrenaline fix' that could lead me into a situation that I'm not actually ready to face. But I don't think so.

    Well, that's about it guys. Should I be feeling these emotions? Can they be trusted?

    Take care, Kayar. X
     
  2. EM68

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    I am in the same boat as you. I plan to come out to my parents in a couple of weeks. I have a letter that I am going to give them. I printed it before New Years. Soon after that I am going to come out to my brother. Before, I was stressed out by not coming out. Right now that I have a plan I just want to get it over with. It not can come soon enough. I would come out to my parents next weekend but we are celebrating my mom's birthday. Good Luck!
     
  3. Maddy

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    Absolutely, yes. I had everything planned out, and I was agonising over it, but also so excited. I think part of it was that I wanted to be out, and not have to hide any more, and the other half was fear of the actual coming out and wanting it to be over. I think if you're feeling excited about coming out rather than dreading it, it means you're pretty much ready. Good luck!
     
  4. riddlerno1

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    I dont think there is a right or wrong way to be feeling about coming out. Some people feel frightened and anxious whereas others feel excited. Just go for whatever you are feelings! Good luck mate! :thumbsup:
     
  5. myra

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    certain people i'm excited about coming out to, others not so much. I was terrified of my parents..and i haven't officially come out to my roommate, but i think she thinks i'm bi. We'll leave it at that. Glad your ready to do that at the convention. I've come out to a classroom of people before and a discussion group or two. For both of those i was pretty excited. Didn't get nervous till after the fact.
     
  6. xequar

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    What you're feeling is both perfectly normal and perfectly understandable. The first couple coming outs are the hardest, as is coming out to the parents. But, once you've done it a few times and you start to gain confidence in both yourself and the fact that people will still love and accept you, you'll start to gain some Pride. You'll reach a point eventually where you are who you are and you won't worry at all about coming out. The fact that you're excited to do it and get it over with and move on indicates to me that you're well on your way.

    Good luck, although I already know you'll do great!