I know for a fact that if I come out to my family then there would be a lot of drawbacks. I know that the closest person in the family to me (my grandma) would be ok with it, but my cousin that lives with me (I'm in a Chinese family, so every relative, aunt, uncle, etc., are all connected and in touch constantly), definitely hates the LGBT community. My mom would've been okay except she recently converted herself into Christianity, and not that Christianity is bad or anything, but the group she hangs out with right now doesn't seem to be the accepting type. My dad thinks it's a disease. :/ My closest friends would most likely not mind this, but a few I know that I don't want to lose might be iffy about knowing about my orientation. I really don't know how to deal with this. I know I should come out somehow, but every time I do I stop myself. Recently, I saw this guy that I really wish I could just get to know him more but I'm 99% sure he's not going to be interested. It's as if I got rejected without ever even trying. It really hurts and I felt very upset the whole day. I would really like to have a friend to talk to, and I know the internet is a great place but it just doesn't have the same effect as having someone I could meet up and talk and just hang out and stuff. I'm so hung up on what would happen to how my previous friends would view me that I'm afraid to do anything LGBT related in college, knowing how fast information like this could spread. One of my best friends knew about someone being gay without him ever saying anything, but only posted a couple pictures of himself with some other guy, and after a bit of snooping around, she was able to find out that he is gay. I really don't want that to happen. I think it'll feel really weird knowing that if I do come out, someone out there that I know would go "hey pssttt... remember ___ from high school??? He's gay!!!" Sorry guys, this is a long post and half rant. If there are any advice you guys could give me on how I should approach on coming out and stuff, please tell me! I'm getting more and more depressed with these feelings I have all bottled down and nowhere to let it go. Thanks!
I'm 26 and basically in the same situation. I came out to all my uni friends but was too scared to tell my school/home friends. Every time they came to visit me at uni I would shit myself and ask my uni friends to not mention anything about me being gay. I really wish I had just told everyone years ago and endured the 24 hours or so of people talking about it. I would be so much happier now and more self-assured. Now its gone on so long that what's stopping me telling people is more the thought of what they would think of me having lied for so long, than what they think about me being gay. Being in the closet is so linked up with my personality that it feels like an impossible step to open up. Trust me this situation is very damaging and wasteful and I advise you to tell people ASAP. It will be hard for a while but then you can move on with your life and become the person your supposed to be
Hey, I know this is easier said than done but you should just do it. Your sexual orientation isn't just gonna swap to straight like that the next day and the more you're bottling it up and keeping it the worse it gets (also for you). You'll have to do it someday - so it's better to do it now. Best to try and tell people first you trust the most and feel like they are the most likely to support you! Good Luck pal !
