Sorry for a long-ish post Once upon a time, I decided that, hey, I am going to come out today...or once I finish this letter. Every time I sit down and start writing, however, I just lose myself and with a rush of complied emotions and details from about the 5-6 years of my journey, end up with a letter beating around the bush and going from one topic to another. I just feel like I need to say a lot in it, even if its not needed to say, "I am a lesbian." It goes from grief, to fear, to hopelessness, to family, to myself, to the past and the present, the future, and a rush of things that don't flow together neatly, I don't think I can just simplify it to a sensible letter anyway. I have rewrote it about 10 times. I don't think my mom will care that much about what it says, but as a person who enjoys writing, I tend to complicate things when I write, not just that, but I feel like maybe I may be telling her too much embarrassing emotions she can use against me if she feels I am being dramatic. But, should I just not include details that are optional? Do you think a letter with so much details would be okay, or that she won't think its "too dramatic." And, honestly, I'm too scared to see her read it in front of me. I live in a house full of siblings, and I want to make sure she is the one reading it(they can be nosy). Is a letter my best option(I have difficulty speaking things out).How can I get it to her?
The letter idea seems great! It is a good way to come out, but have a little reprieve before the effects come. I thing you should make an outline beforehand. Write out everything you want in that letter separately, then put it together with all of the pieces like a puzzle. Then give it to her at a time when you know she will be alone or can read it fully. Make sure she is somewhere that she can sit and read and actually take it in. She doesn't need to be distracted when doing this. Those "optional" details are extremely important, especially if you found them important enough to write out in the first place. Use them. Words are so powerful whether written or spoken. You say you are a writer than that is the perfect way to do it because it is a gift you have. Good Luck!
Thank you for the feedback, perhaps I will have to come out with an outline for my letter. I will be hoping there is a moment I can get her alone, and I won't be leaving out any details,afterall, they are important to me, and I guess I wanted her to know. I just am extremely self-aware and a bit shy about my feelings so I didn't want to be too personal if I didn't have to, but this is an important moment in my life.
You may find some inspiration in these letters: Empty Closets - Coming Out Letters A letter is a good way to tell people, to briefly explain how you feel and touch on the most important points before you sit down and talk. It can certainly help to introduce the subject without lots of drama, but you can't possibly address every minute detail in writing without turning it into a book. Personally, I would include a link to organisations like PFLAG in any coming out letter and ask the recipient to check out their website for more information and support.
I completely understand! I wanted to come out in a letter to my parents also. I had put quite a bit of time and effort into mine before wanting to deliver it. Now I was outed before I could give them the letter, but none the less it is a really great way to compose thoughts. I hope it goes well!
You. Were. Me. Okay, I was writing a coming out letter as trans to my mom, kept rewriting it so that it would say what I felt. I eventually wrote an email and sent it so that I couldn't back out. Letters are hard. They have to convey your feelings and thoughts. And for me, I could never get mine to say the right thing. I gave it to her anyways and she was supportive. Once you decide to give it to her, don't back out. If that means all you do is put it somewhere she'll see before you go to school, do it.
