my ex-boyfriend won't leave me alone! he is my best friend, but when ever i talk about other people in a 'i like them alot' lind of way he goes completly guilt trip on me! its not my fault that i don't like him and im gay for godness sakes but hes making me feel like its an awful, shameful, un-natural thing! todays r.e day at school didn't help, the message i got was that only men and women relationships can be successful and that gays are just anomlies. :bang: *sigh* thankyou for reading my venting message, love you all as always
Hi there! I think you should ask yourself whether you really want him in your life. It sounds like that you would be better off without him. This is not the sort of behavior that you would expect from a best friend. It's clear that he can't comprehend that it is over. He needs to grow up. It is his problem! Not yours! Try to contact him less or if at all possible try to avoid him. Maybe try to get to know some of your other friends better.
why would you want to be friends with someone who is constantly putting guilt trip on you? And if he was a TRUE friend, he would accept you....Right?!?!
he accepts me but he kind of doesn't want to, if you know what i mean, and i can't avoid him really, hes in my form at school.
Even though you two are together in (classes?) you can still minimize the contact with him, in particular after school or on weekends. I still think it would be a good idea if you would distance yourself a bit from him. He accepts you though yet what he says is contrary to that. If he doesn't want to accept it, again, this is not your problem. I don't think he deserves to be your best friend. Often it is best to find other friends or spend more time with friends who won't send someone on guilt trips, or make someone feel as if someones sexual identity is (to use your words) "an awful, shameful, un-natural thing!" Think about yourself and how you feel about this whole situation as well.
I think you need to ask yourself what kind of effect this is having on you and how much the relationship means to you. If the relationship means a lot then I would be upfront and honest to him. Tell him how what he says affects you.(And don't back down - tell him what he says is damaging and wrong) Then love him, after all people can change but of course, put your well being first. I would cut off conversations that go negative - if he doesn't stop leave, move, etc. There is no need to subject yourself to that. Either way, best of luck. I know that must be hard.
I agree with Jonah. I'd try talking to him, telling him exactly how what he's saying is making you feel. If he insists he's right and keeps pulling guilt trips and telling you that you're wrong, I'd pull away, as tough as it is - if he's not willing to treat you properly, he's not worth having as a friend.
Psh. I'm sorry...but he sounds like he's being a serious a**hole right now. He's still hurting from the break up which is why he's giving you these guilt trips. He's just gonna have to get over it. The best way to do that is to just stay away from him. Don't talk to him except in school...don't hang out after hours or go to the mall or whatver. It'll feel too much like a date and will make him hurt more, in turn making him act like more of a douche. Until he starts acting like a real best friend should (as in a totally accepting of you, non prick) just ditch him. While you don't have any feelings for him (except those of a friend) he's still got them for you and he's got no clue how to deal. Hope this helps and things get better for you. PS...can i ask what octasexual means?
"hes making me feel like its an awful, shameful, un-natural thing" sorry, I was wrong. but I never did this.
OK ... I have no idea what JakeBHT means with this comment, but basically just tell your ex to either accept that you've moved on or to get the hell out of your life. Nobody wants a neurotic ex around ... it only makes you feel bad about ending it all and frankly that does nothing for your self-esteem. So it's either acceptance or get the hell out.
