This really isnt even important...Just some thoughts running thru my head right now..but if you choose to read this any advice or comments are welcome. thanks everyone Ok..So Im really trying hard to figure myself out. Its been a couple of days since I joined EC and all the support and advice is really encouraging. Ive been thinking alot about the fact that I could be gay. But have just settled for bi right now.(due to the fact that i am seeing a girl right now, but were not really together, sort of like a friends with benefits). I have really closed myself off from girls lately. I want to maybe find a guy that I could talk to and see if it goes anywhere? Does that make sense? I just have never thought about me being completley gay. Ive never even uttered those words aloud. Not that it is a bad thing, I just know that this is gonna take some time. And Im really sick of my mom trying to set me up with all these girls who mean nothing to me. They are beautiful girls, Im just not physically attracted to them right now. I want to cure my curiosity for now, with men. Yes I have fantasies about guys, but I like women for the emotional aspects..i guess. I dont know this is randomness...
sounds about right. lol. everyone wants to expirament with their sexuality. By you shunning females and wanting to be with a guy makes sense. You want to test the waters and see if you really are gay. Everyone does it i think. I've been dying to do things with a girl but can't because of my boyfriend. (even though he says i can as long as he gets to watch or it becomes a threesome...ick) If you want to expirament, go for it. Your an adult and can chose to do so. Just be safe about it.
Lmao. That sounds like something a guy would say. I dont know though I dont feel like a typical gay guy. I wouldnt even know where to go to meet someone, or how?
Hi there! Glad to hear that the support and advice that you have received thus far has helped you. Thinking about and trying to figure out your sexual identity is good. I do think that you are going about it in right way. You want to explore your feelings which is good! That said make sure that it doesn't become all too overwhelming. You don't have to label yourself at this stage. Remember that sexual identities are fluid and they can change over time. As you explore the feelings that you do have, you will figure it all out. You already have a couple of 'clues' as to what your sexual identity could be but it would be perhaps a bit easier on you if you don't put a label on it just yet. In exploring your feelings, I think it would be very important if you would not close yourself off from girls or guys for that matter. We can and do have at times different levels of attachments to girls and guys. In getting to know someone or others (both girls and guys) you will see where the pull is, and which way it is stronger. If it clicks with a guy, you have another piece of the puzzle. You have mentioned that you are seeing a girl right now. Even though she seems to be just a friend with benefits, I don't think it is really fair on her nor on you if you continue that relationship (in whatever form). Yes, keep her as a friend but perhaps try it without the 'benefits.' In terms of your mother setting you up with girls, maybe you could let your mum know (in a nice way) that you are going to find someone on your own. You don't have to specify, just say 'someone.' Yes, (and as you said) it is going to take some time to figure it all out but you'll get there. Take your time though and follow whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope this helps a bit!
I know this isnt fair to her. Ive told her that if and when she meets someone who wants to be in relationship that Im okay with that. And yes everything that you said helped out alot. Its really what I needed to hear, thanks much!:lol:
If you are comfortable with the idea, you could try joining a local LGBT support group, where you could meet a couple of gay guys. Are you at a college or university? If so, try looking into a support group there. Also, check out some online LGBT websites that have a calendar of social events or give you some ideas as to where members of the LGBT community meet.
My college doesnt have anything like that. But I will check out some websites and see if they're any local LGBT groups/events in the area
I don't think there is a 'typical' way to feel when you're gay. The fact is, you've likely always been gay, so you just feel how you feel - because that's how you've always felt. Now you're just a little more aware of yourself - which is awesome. If you fantasize about being with a guy, I don't think its really necessary to 'test' that theory. You don't need to 'try it' to see if you like it. Trust me - you'll like it. :icon_wink What to do about it then? Well - I'd strongly recommend getting comfortable with the fact that you're at least bi - if not gay. Because the best way for you to experience a real relationship with another guy is if you're able to be open and honest with yourself and with them. Ideally, you'd be able to be open and honest with the other people around you too - so your relationship doesn't have to remain a 'secret'. Usually, we keep secrets becuase it's something we think will be perceived as 'bad' - and that can rub off on how you perceive the relationship too. It's a lot to take in. It takes a long time. Don't expect to get comfortable with this overnight. And don't beat yourself up for having doubts and fears about it - because that's natural too. I'm glad you're finding this site helpful - it certainly was for me. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat privately.
There does seem to be a bit of a misconception about homosexual men. The idea seems to be if you're gay, you'll think girls are "icky". And I'm sure there are gay guys like that, but it's not a given. I enjoy going to burlesque shows, which mainly feature women taking off their clothes. I'm friends with women, some of which are (honestly) breathtakingly beautiful. I'm just not interested in having sex with them. They don't make me horny. And, actually, as far as they're concerned, that's a bonus. Because I can treat them like the human beings they are, rather than possible conquests. Something you might try, because I've suggested it to others, and they've gotten some good from it. Look in the mirror and say "I'm gay". Then, spend the day BEING gay. I don't mean skip to class or crank up the Cher. Just look at guys, fantasize about them, look at some gay porn if you want. Just assume you're gay for a day or two, and see how it feels. Lex
