I've been considering coming out to my mum lately but i have no idea what I should say to her or if I should say " I'm gay "or " I'm lesbian " I don't know why but if I say I'm lesbian I feel like I'm being formal and she'll think I'm stupid or something, but if I say I'm gay she'll think I'm stupid again because using "I'm gay" is only for men and that I don't actually mean what I'm saying. So really my question is what should I say to her, and what did you say when you came out to people, did you just say you were gay or what you identify as/ the "typical" label people use for who they like (if that makes sense) Thanks
labels isn't important, but the persona behind that label is, just get straight to the point because the longer you hide it the longer it'll hunts you.
I just straight up told people "I'm gay" I don't think it matters what you say. They both mean the same thing.
I agree with the comments above, and I'll add that if the label bothers you consider saying it without the labels. "I am attracted to girls." That's simple, to the point, there's no labels involved, and there's no room for misinterpretation. When emotion stands in between you and your goals, turn to efficiency instead.
Haha, I sort of want to come out to my mother because 1. she's so suspicious already it seems ridiculous to deny it constantly and 2. there's stuff happening in my life I wanna be able to talk to her about but it only really works if she knows I like girls. And there are a number of reasons why I'm scared to do it but yeah, even words are too much to think about. Saying "bisexual" is awful to me just because it has the word "sexual" in it. Plus, I almost feel like I need to explain myself too much with it because I'm more over on the "lesbian" side and I want that to be clear but I don't wanna box myself in as a "lesbian" when I know I still feel something for guys. I like the word "gay" but that translates more to "lesbian" than "bisexual", and I could technically use the word "queer" but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know the meaning behind that as a reclaimed slur, and it still just sounds like a slur to me. So at least you only have 2 words you're stuck between!! What Vi said is probably a helpful way to look at it. For me saying "i am attracted to girls" would just open me up to the question of "so you're a lesbian?" and then I'd have to say... "not really" and explain myself but in your case you can just say "yes" and avoid working out which word to use. Perfect! But if you do want to use a word, just use the one that you feel most comfortable saying. There's no way she won't get what you mean with either, and I doubt she'll be analysing your language for being "too linical" in such a situation.
