I came out to myself on 22 February 2014. It's been almost two years, and I still haven't told my parents that I'm gay, despite that I'm 100% certain that they won't have any issues with it. I talked to my social studies teacher in private about it once. She made me feel terrible for not telling them (this, along with a few other things, made me feel terrible. I don't want to talk about those things). When I first came out to myself, I told myself that I shouldn't have to announce my sexuality any more than a straight person should. I decided that if my parents ask me something like "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I'll tell them, but I'm not going to sit them down and say "Mom, dad, I have something to tell you..." because that's ridiculous. In 2015, I spent about 5% of my waking life consciously thinking about the fact that I'm gay. After my talk with my teacher, it's now 30 - 50%, and I'm getting sick of my parents not knowing. I don't think I'll have any opportunity to let it happen naturally any time soon (I haven't in the past two years), so I might have to break my promise. I plan on telling them that I have a crush. And when they ask who it is, I'll show them a photo (it's nobody they know). I hope that they don't ask me how long I've known, because they might get angry or hurt that I went two years without telling them. My mom complains that I get along with her better than my dad. And so if I end up telling them separately, I want to tell my dad first. I think my mom would appreciate it. Is this an okay plan?
Dear friend Coming out isn't a race, you can take it as fast as you want. To help with you problem, first go into you bathroom and look I the mirror and tell yourself you're gay. It may sound stupid but I did it and it gave me the courage to tell my parents, Second you can use either way to come out, both to me at least seem reasonable ways if you like them. I don't think they'll mind about the whole time thing. As for is it a good plan, I would say yes, just build up your courage and get ready for questions if your parents ask any. If there is anything you need ask away. Love and hope King of The Baltic
You have truly known that are gay for 2 years but here's the surprising part, you're parents probably knew a lot earlier than you. The fact that in 2 years they haven't once mentioned you getting a girlfriend in any way suggests that they are consciously avoiding it, maybe respectfully because they don't want you to think that's what they expect of you. You don't need to come out to your parents but you do need to let them in to that part of your life. Even though, I suspect, they already have an idea of your sexuality they may not react in the way that you expect and it's probably going to feel like a disappointment for you. If they make a big issue about it and get upset then I'm sure that isn't what you want at all but what if it's the opposite? If they just say "that's fine, we already know, what's for dinner?", are you prepared for that? If you want to talk about it, explain how you've been feeling about keeping it from them etc. then you will have to tell them that's what you want to do. Don't forget to tell them the reason that you are telling them now. Whenever you share something like this you have to know in advance what it is that you hope to gain from it. If not then you will feel no better having done it.
Hey, you guys are a little late. I already told them on 23 February, before there were any responses to this thread. Thank-you anyway for your help. I still appreciate it. I did it pretty much how I said I would. I found a "natural" way to make it happen. I wanted to plan a way to slowly steer the conversation such that my being gay would be appropriate to say. And it somewhat worked. In my social studies class (with the one teacher who I know knows that I am gay), we started talking about sex. She went around the class and asked, "Do you ever talk to your parents about sex?". I said no, as did all the other kids (except possible one... can't remember). I told this to my parents, a little nervous. I thought, "This is my opportunity. I have to tell them now, or else another three months in the closet". We talked a little about how we don't discuss those things (sex, romance, etc.) with parent/child. The hardest thing I did was next: I said, "Hey, you wanna see who I like?" and they said "Sure". At this point, there was no backing out, at least, not without some quick and clever thinking. I showed them a picture of my crush. My mom asked, "What you do mean you like him?" and I said, "Like, a crush". Pause for 5 - 10 seconds. My mom then said, "So, you're telling us you like boys?" and I said "yes", and we talked about it some more. No, my parents didn't know until I told them. Do you find this surprising? From this experience, the hardest part about telling them was when I said, "Hey, you wanna see who I like?". Because that was the point of no return. I bet a lot of other people have a similar experience coming out to people they knew would be accepting. I was hoping they wouldn't ask how long I've known. But they did. I told them, and they didn't mind.
