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I'm constantly Overthinking things

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dooey6464, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. Dooey6464

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    Since the last time a made a thread a lot has happened and now I can't think straight (no pun intended :lol:slight_smile:

    I went to London for two days with my mum and had intended to come out to her but didn't. I don't know why and because of it I started overthinking why I didn't. I was thinking she really wouldn't care and would prefer me being Honest. And Because I was overthinking it ruined the trip for me

    when I got back home my close friend invited me around (this is the friend I was thinking of coming out to). Which was all good until he said 'I have a lot a gay friends' and list of his friends who where gay. Which made me start overthinking things. At first I was thinking why he said that. Dose he know I'm gay. I also noticed he said it in a way that sounded slightly homophobic maybe I shouldn't come out to him first.

    The thing that made me overthink the most is that some of people he listed I've said some horrible stuff to them. Horrible stuff I said to them was extremely homophobic ( this is when I was in complete denial about my sexuality. This is about 4 years ago ) and I really want to say sorry but I feel I can't because then they might get suspicious.

    I'm now complete :bang::bang::bang: going made because I can't come out to my friend or mum and I don't know why. I now have about 4ish people who I desperately want to say sorry too. But I'm to scared of telling them because they get suspicious.

    I feel like I can't come out until i fix all the stupid stuff I said when I was younge and in denial.

    What should I do ???
    I'm so confused :bang::bang::bang:
     
  2. Secrets5

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    Hello,

    Lots of people ask for forgivness/say sorry for being homophobic; as they've realized that they were wrong to and want to make things right. I don't think anybody would be suspicious of that. To be honest, when saying sorry I wouldn't talk about your own sexuality, as they might think that's the only reason why you're apologizing.

    Maybe talk to your mum where you're in a place near to home, perhaps drive out in the car around your block. It might be easier to say in a familiar environment.
     
    #2 Secrets5, Feb 21, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
  3. Dooey6464

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    Thank you for the advice.

    I'll gonna to try and say sorry to people and maybe try tell my mum

    Thanks :slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile:
     
  4. Sleeping Owl

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    It's probably for the best not to complicate things on a family trip; keep it simple when nothing else is going on. Less hectic that way.

    Also, apologizing to them doesn't reveal that you're gay, it just shows you've matured is all and I think they'd appreciate that.
     
  5. Dooey6464

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    So I sent text to the people, This is (roughly) what i sent


    Hi ( their name )this is (my name). I just want to say sorry for some of the things I said or did in the past. I regret a lot of the things I did and just wanted to say I'm sorry. I wasn't really thinking straight.

    Sorry (my name)


    I really happy I sent it. I feel a thousand times better
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  6. DanP

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    Glad you sent the text message to them. As for the comments, I'm sure they expect an apology, but they will likely meet it with open arms. Many members of the LGBT community act with extreme homophobia, as they deny their identity. They should understand, as they probably went through a similar experience. It's also nice to know that you are surrounded by accepting people (your friend, mom, etc) - Embrace that!

    Best of luck!
     
  7. Dooey6464

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    I just got a text from one person and he was very accepting

    This is what he wrote

    mate, don't worry about it, its a new year and the past is the past, and at the end of the day, youll always be a good friend :3

    Im so thankful that he was so nice about the whole thing
    (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)