Hi all, so I'm having a confusing time with one of my friends at my college/university. Now this really could just complete silliness but I swear one of my friends is gay. And I'm not the only one. Several of my friends and I believe he's gay. He's got undeniable fashion sense, unbelievably great hair, and well I just think he's gay. I know these could just mean he's metrosexual but me and several of my friends all believe it from a vibe we get from him. I've even asked him out for coffee on a random note, and he's apparently gone to the gay club here in london and i asked him for the coffee at a dance held by the Pride service that is held at my school. Now a few of his friends who I am friends with tell me he says he's straight or whatever but I still say he's lying to them or to himself. Another thing was when talking with him on msn when I told him I was surprised he didn't have a girlfriend....but he responded saying he hadn't found the right person. Now I'm not sure if he was just trying to be politically correct or hint to me, but none the less, it's still confusing the hell out of me probably because I've had a huge crush on him since first year (I'm in second now and he's in third). I know I might be over analyzing these things, but I would really appreciate some ideas or something from people Just post if you wish.
His appearance and behaviour don't necessarily mean he's gay, I know more than one straight guy who acts just the way you're describing. If he's telling his friends he's straight, either he is straight or he's not ready to come out yet, which is totally reasonable. How well do you know him? It might be worth getting to know him better, and maybe he'll confide in you or let something slip about his sexuality one way or the other.
Does he know you're gay? Have you asked him if he is? If he's aware that you're gay, there's probably a better chance that he'll confide in you. The other way - which would probably be better in all regards, is just to hang out with him and get to know him. Become great friends. Even if it turns out he's not, you've still gained a good friend, and you can't have too many of those.
Yeah I haven't asked him because I just don't feel like hurting our friendship, just in case he reacts badly. Yes he knows I'm gay, but it's just when we were talking I said I might have found a great guy, and he just responded saying "I haven't found the right person" again he might just be politically correct rather than saying the right girl. But just the fact he knows I'm gay and said person, could maybe make him bi? I just don't know. He must be extremely comfortable if he's straight, because I'd say 95% of the pics I see of him are him with several girls in the pics. So I really don't know....
