I'm a 14 year old bi-romantic/sexual girl. I live in a country where homosexuality is not very accepted and my family and most of my friends are homophobic. When and how am I supposed to come out to my family? I'm scared that my family will hate me and I don't want to upset them or cause a fight. (My sister literally said she'll kill me if I'm a lesbian.) Should I wait until I'm an adult? Because I'm pretty sure they will say I'm "too young" to know my sexuality. And what would be the best way of coming out without my family hating me?
For your own safety, you probably should wait until you're an adult or can at least live on your own and provide for yourself. Unfortunately, it's especially hard to get homophobic people to stop hating lgbt people unless if they happen to be at least fairly open-minded. If they are then try to at least educate them to the point where they don't outright hate lgbt people but I'd still wait until you're old enough to live on your home or at least not with your immediate family.
I've always thought that it wouldn't matter if I came out to my homophobic family, but after reading a bit, I do agree partially. But if you feel ready soon in the future or you're ready now, then go for it. But be ready forthe best and/or worst reaction from everyone you tell. Remember that you're perfect how you are and when you feel confident in that and yourself and by this time you feel ready, face it straight on.
First of all, you should weigh the pros and cons of coming out to your family. Ask yourself, what's in it for you? What's the odds of your best-case scenario happening versus your worst-case scenario? Would the feeling of relieving yourself of the burden of your sexuality be worth your family's potential reaction? Personally, I think you should wait a little longer. If it eventually starts hurting you to keep this secret from your family and you believe you have nothing to lose in telling them, tell them. If you know you can wait for a while before coming out to your family, then do that. I feel that you should wait until you're independent of your family or living on your own (which is a long time, I know, but sometimes that's necessary) so you don't have to live in the same home with them if they get upset with you. I haven't come out myself as I don't have the courage to do it, but it's each person's individual decision. As for me, I think I'm too young to tell my parents because they might not take me seriously (I'm 14 as well) and tell me it's a phase. After all, it takes a lot of thinking, and you probably should use this time to do just that. Hope I helped you at least a little!
Wait. Wait till you are old and can look after yourself. Placing yourself at risk is not the way to go.
I think you should wait too if it's worth anything. I know you said most of your friends are homophobic, but are there any you think you can confide in to feel better in the meantime? A support group outside of the net would be good.
