Do you really need to come out?

Hi, I've just had the same kind of thoughts! Why do I feel I ought to come out??
I don't expect people who are straight to tell me they are, I suppose if it's a female introducing me to her husband I'd assume she's straight, but that's not necessarily so & think it's not really my business!

I've been married for a while, divorced now. For me coming out is being honest about who I am, my siblings and particularly my parents would be disgusted. For me that'd be hard but I don't think I could keep a important relationship secret, hidden, it conveys shame. That isn't a good think for any relationship.

 

For me coming out means answering truthfully if the subject comes up. I have taken a policy with my friends at home that unless they ask me directly I am not going to tell them but if they directly ask me then I will tell them the truth. Other than that I don't go around announcing people my sexuality because quite honestly I don't see any reason for it.

I guess that for many people announcing their orientation is exercise to validate themselves. That despite being non-straight people don't reject them and still love them.

 

Yeah this is how I feel most of the time! It may due more to the fact that I am not out yet, so my opinions may change once I do come out.

I don't think you have to tell everyone, but I think the people who are close to you, it would be best to tell. I think it is more for one self's complacency, who they come out to you. I personally would never feel obligated to come out through social media, like facebook or something, but I get why someone would.

So I think it's all in the individual. I just think it makes you're life better and you'll have better relationships being open with people, because it can get weird sometimes when people think you're straight and you're not. And then again sometimes I'm always like it's none of their business. So yeah...

 

This is a good question. The only people I ever 'came out' to is my parents, ironic as they we're the only ones who already knew. The problem with other people not being aware of your sexuality is that as time goes on and a relationship forms it can leave you feeling as though you are deceiving the other person. The greater the relationship becomes, the more you have to loose by being rejected if they are not accepting of your sexuality. When it eventually is forced into a conversation due to you correcting their assumption it can be awkward and embarrassing for them as they feel that they have intruded or offended you.
Now I actually love being gay but I don't go around telling people I am. It's just something that is obvious when I mention my boyfriend, usually followed by, "I wouldn't have guessed" or something like that.
I definitely think it's better to tell someone that you are {insert sexuality} rather than shoving it in through their eyeballs.

 

Most people? No. They'll work it out or they won't. I don't care. My kids? Yes, because I wanted to stop hiding and didn't want them blindsided by a comment from someone else. I'm glad I did because I've started seeing someone and I didn't want to have to hide her from them. We talk about her, and it's all very easy.
I came out to a couple of friends too, but everyone else? Meh. Don't care if they know or not. If it turns into something serious with who I'm seeing, then at some point she'll met my siblings, so that's when they'll find out, I guess.
I don't understand the big facebook coming out, and won't be doing it.

 

Though only a few have responded so far it appears there may be a gender divide on this one. Maybe it's because of how society reacts to sexuality differently based on gender. Or maybe its something to do with how men and women view their own sexuality in a different way and how significant it is as a part of who they are. Any thoughts?

 

Depends, sexuality, no you dont have to
Gender, yes you kind of do

 

No I don't and never have felt the need to come out regarding my sexuality. If people ask then I don't mind saying that I'm attracted to masculinity in all genders but it doesn't bother me that people don't know. I think some people just want to be their most authentic self and don't want to have to worry about the judgement that might come if no one knew, by getting it out there you can somewhat move on and live your life.

 

I don't tell complete strangers that I'm a TG, but my friends and my family knows. When I'm in dresses, I look like a girl.

 

The reason I want to come out is because many people will just 'assume' I'm straight, especially straight MEN..and they hit on me. Also, I feel like when people know you're 'out' you will attract the right people in general. If more women knew I identified as a lesbian, they'd probably treat me a little differently and as a non-threat to their boyfriends..but since they don't , I get hit on so much by men & women never give me a chance..

 

it´s easier for me to have people around me know i´m a lesbian from the very first moment we met. i don´t introduce myself telling my name and my sexuality hhahha but if i have the slightest opportunity to tell them i do. that pushes out of my life those who don't accept or dislike my sexuality and saves me from hurting or being offended.
I don´t consider it as coming out, i was not in the closet when i met them , they just got to know something more about me that can make them run away or just continue with whatever relationship we have or going to have

About my "coming out".. it was really more about not living a lie, i always wanted my family to be part of my life and not telling them you are gay when you know they are assuming you are heterosexual felt like lying to them

 

I had been pondering this question for over 3 decades as I struggled with my own fear, guilt and uncertainty about my sexuality, and the continued questioning....... "when are you going to settle down with a girl and get married"..... "When are you going to marry your girlfriend....." etc. etc.

Now that I have come out to a handful of close friends and my Mum in the past month (who all by the way, have been extremely supportive, loving and encouraging), I feel a lot freer and able to express my preferences, not just sexual but also cultural and social, like music, fashion, politics and social issues etc, without receiving the painful judgement from people, or experiencing the fear and perception of being judged by those who mean the most to me.

Sure, others who I haven't come out to and who don't know me very well, or at all, may still judge me, but part of my coming out, is also developing the confidence and resilience against those reactions and any negative feelings I may have.

Ultimately, it is about the freedom to "be".

 

Coming out has certain functions that help some LGBT people deal with it personally, socially, and in other ways.
Although LGBT people realize their "difference" at different ages, many of them feel that having a coming out party or announcement is an invitation to their family, friends, and community to celebrate their differences and accept them for who they actually are.

It is also true that whether one likes it or not they may be treated differently depending on their sexuality or gender. Although a stranger may blame themselves for assuming that you are straight/cis-gendered,oftentimes close friends and lovers may be hurt that you didn't disclose this information to them. Coming out may also result in other LGBT people approaching you.

Basically, coming out serves the same function as a coming-of-age party, bar/bat mitzvah, a girl's quinceanera, or any other transitional party or celebration. It's a chance for you and those around you to celebrate your acceptance of yourself and your transition.