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I don't even know what to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tori47, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. Tori47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana, Laporte
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I don't know what to do, I want to come out so badly.
    I can't at least I don't think I can, my family are anti-gay or something like that. They are just hillbillies that don't accept anything different. I'm underage but if I come out I literally think my family will disown me. I haven't told ANYONE and it's killing me. I am trying so hard to keep it together or find a way out or something.
    I don't really have any friends, the last kid that came out in my school was bullied like hell I haven't found any help online and I'm hoping this website might be different then the ones I have gone to. I am am starting to wish I wasn't bisexual and mainly abstracted to girls. I mean how could people live like this with all this hate I try to keep optimistic but it seems like I will never be able to be myself. I hate it I wish I could just die so I don't have to put up with my life it isn't really even a life cause I'm lying thru it all. Then I remember when I want to come out that I will lose every single thing that I love if I stop lying and try to live my life. I dont even know what the hell to do
     
  2. JAA1297

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2015
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I can relate to your background. My family are also very homophobic and would never accept me if they knew that I was gay. I'll never come out to them until I am independent and do not rely on them for anything. However, I am open to everyone else, including friends and classmates. It doesn't seem like that's an option for you. What always gave me hope when I was going through dark times was that everything will get better. Some day, I will be with someone who I love, and no one will be able to take that away from me. You too—you will find someone, some day, and you will be able to be yourself without fear of being judged. No one knows when that day will come for either of us. But we know that it will come. In the meanwhile, it may be beneficial to speak to a school counselor—they are legally bound not to disclose anything that you share with him or her as long as you do not show any intent to hurt yourself or others. Anything you say is safe with your counselor. I know for me, talking to a counselor helped a lot and I'm sure it will help for you as well. Don't lose hope, it'll all get better someday.
     
  3. Tori47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana, Laporte
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks but idk if I ever will come out I will literally die if my mom disowns me cause I am bi, I can't go thru that and I feel if it keeps my mom from hating me so be it it fucking hurts that im having to live a lie but I still have a family cause of it so ill live the lie till i cant put up with it no more and disapear