So im planning to tell my parents, mainly aiming to tell them before i go to uni this september so that i dont have to do it over the phone or something like that. how does one time this? like when is it appropriate to mention this instead of just "hey guess what" randomly out of the blue. even then i have no idea how to do this for both my parents, i think my dad would put me off, for some reason i dont actually like him that much...dont hate him or anything like that just im not a fan if you know what i mean, so it would throw me off having to tell him at the same time or even differently, maybe its because im afraid he will try to talk to me about it afterwards, and i hate it when he talks to me about life stuff, he is so invasive when he is doing that. in summary (for those who understandably couldnt read all that), how do i bring it up? and if so, when?
Europeanguy, I just came out to my mom and brother this past weekend. However, my story is a little different since I'm also married. My suggestion is make sure it's a good day for your parents, that there is no emotional issues going on with them. This will help, because their thoughts will be clearer. I personally lead up to it, this is how I came out to them....."I need to tell you guys something that is very important to me, I have been dealing with this for many years". You man want to bring up past things that showed you knew you where gay. My mom could always tell when something was on my mind. So I told her, remember all the times you asked me if I was ok, I was dealing with it then. She became more receptive to me, telling her. I asked them both will you love me regardless, both said they lve me regardless. Then I came out and told them I'm gay. My mom started crying, and said she was sorry I have been dealing with this for so long. My brother in all his infinite wisdom LOL, said well we still family and I love you bro. He has called me more over the last few days checking on me. My mom has too. However, you need to come out when it is right for you and your parents. If we wait for the perfect time, it may never come. Sometimes you just have to go for it, just be prepared to answer question f they have them. I share my story in hopes it allows you to see your not alone, and it can turn out for your good. Good luck to you, and keep us posted.
haha "keep us posted" well I have to do it now dont I! haha dont want to let everyone down! (which is actually a great motivation and push to do it that i really need). maybe ill do a kind "day 1" thing of me trying to do it...or maybe ill just do it then say what happened. its funny though, while i was in the first year of college this guy was showing a picture of a girl around and i asked him "why?" and he said "what, are you gay? its a hot girl!" and i said nothing and he went "wait so..." and then i said "no im asexual (lies!)" and he went "so you are gay?" and i went "no asexual!" haha then he said "oh right sorry misheard you" apparently its really easy for me to just say asexual when technically thats just as weird as being gay is, but no mr brain here has to think thats really easy to say and the actual truth is hard.
I'd suggest telling them apart. It makes it easier to explain when theres just one of them and they can't gang up on you for any reason. The ways I came out was just telling my mum I needed to tell her something and she drove us to a service station and we sat in a coffee shop and talked out it. Its easier in public in some ways but it does mean you can't escape if things go bad but it's unlikely they'd go that bad. With my dad we went out for dinner just the two of us but I couldn't seem to tell him there so it took a lot of courage to bring it up when we got home. I wrote a letter to everyone that I came out to, which at the moment is just people I trust/I'm close to, its lot easier giving them something pre-written that explains exactly how you feel than having to come up with it on the spot when you're stressed. Even if it's a couple sentences its easier to hand it to them than to speak the words. Just come out when you're ready and comfortable to, don't rush into anything you're not certain about because once it's out there you can't take it back. Good luck!
