to come out or not to come out? a time in ones life where they need the support of there family and friends, but the fear is it will be the loneliest, confusing time, shunned by those they need most. this is my prediciment. i dont want to live my life a lie. i want to be honest with my family and friends, so tell them right? sounds good on paper! but my mum, sister and brother think of gay people as a joke, especially my mum. she doesnt even think there is anything wrong at laughing at gay people. she is a self richous bitch. im sick and tired of hearing her bag them all the time, it wears me down. she has such a hang up on sexuality, it makes me sick. i want gay friends, i want to be gay, and to be able to say it out loud, to whomever i like, and dress how i like and act how i like. i want to come out. but the fear of being ostricised by family and friends is too much. any advice? thanks guys
From my personal experience, there tends to be an attitude change once a person (like you Mom) realizes the category goes "the gays" to gay people I know. That is to say, coming out to your family might give them better insight overall and fewer of these remarks (perhaps even none) will occur.
yes, but i have a gay uncle, and a lesbian aunty. she does know gay people, so i am not optimistic that her views will miraculously change when i come out
Do you know the cause of her amusement with gay people? What exactly does she do? I found that being strong and "giving it back as good as you get" can be effective if all else fails. For example, if she makes a joke about gay, make one back about straights. Don't be overly mean, however, so her that it isn't great to be made fun of because of your sexuality.
I'm kind of in your same predicament (I love that word) IMO you should make sure you have somewhere to go if she throws you out (I hope that won't happen, but Just in case), and then tell her... Or come out to friends first. That could help. Look at me, I'm not out at all and I'm trying to give advice... hehe. Do what you think is right. And welcome to EC! (*hug*)
I think her attitude might change when she learns that her own son is gay. Is your mom making really mean comments or is she just joking around. For example, my parents make fun of my cousin because they suspect she is gay, so they start making gay jokes like : do you think shes the man or woman in the relationship, but i know they're just joking around, they don't mean anything bad by it. Maybe it's like that with your mom?
