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Coming out as trans at school/college

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Aberrance, Mar 3, 2016.

  1. Aberrance

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So I'm in the middle of coming out as FTM to people. My mum, dad and sister know as do my closest friends and everyones been immensely supportive and it's going to take time but I'm getting there.

    I'm just wondering what to do about sixth form. I've got 4 months left until I finish and go to uni but at the moment my expression is completely masculine and I'm starting to get questions because I've started binding daily now and people are noticing. I want to tell them but I don't want to have to deal with the sarcastic, shitty comments and whispers behind my back, which I can guarentee will happen. I was bullied quite badly in school and having to relive those days will probably put me in a bad place which is really unneeded but similarly having to hear she/her pronouns and being referred to as a girl/sexist remarks being made that include me makes me feel awful. I don't know which is the best of the two at the moment.

    I've gotten to a point where I've accepted myself and my family are coming to terms with accepting me and I don't know whether living two lives is worth it. I was planning on making a new facebook account and writing a post on there but if I do this after exams when I'm not going to see any of those people again what would be the point? I might as well come out and see who sticks with me, right? Cause I'm going to have to tell some of them at some point if I stay friends with them. I have a lot of 'laddy' friends because they basically see me as one of their own but I'm scared they'll completely reject me if I come out to them.

    I'm so stuck at this point. Does anyone have any advice for coming out or when to come out?
     
  2. DemiLiHue

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    Good luck!
     
  3. Aberrance

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    Out to everyone
    Bumping this. Anyone have any advice?
     
  4. Punch Them

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    I'm actually in the same boat as you. Like you I was thinking of making a post on facebook and linking people to a new account I would make with my preferred name, so whoever wants to stay friends after my coming out can just add me on that account. It seems like a good plan to me !
    I was planning on doing this just after graduation because I can't deal with the possible harrasement either. Until then I'll just bear with the misgendering I guess. Only 4 months left.

    On wether or not its "worth it" since you won't be seeing most of them after graduation anyway; well it's up to you, really. You might still bump into people from high school every now and then later on, which may lead to awkward situations if you're not out. But you're free to only come out to your close friends if you want.

    I'm also afraid that my friends will reject me if I come out, but that's something you can't really help. But this is part of why I want to come out online instead of in person, it gives you and them more time to think about it. Tell them you're still the same person after all, and that they can ask you questions if they have any. And remember we always imagine the worst case scenarios, everything will probably go better than you think it will. Good luck !
     
  5. DemiLiHue

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    I think it all depends on how your classmates think about Transgender people. Try to bring the conversation. I started talking about how Otis from the barn has udders and refers to himself as a cow even if he's a guy. And they all started talking about it. Some seriously, some others saying "trans cow duh!" And now I know that if I ever come out, they won't bully me. (At least not my grade, nB)
     
  6. Aberrance

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    Out to everyone
    I have come out to close friends and people that I thought would take it okay already. I just can't deal with being misgendered and hearing the wrong name anymore, its getting too stressful. That's true, doing it face to face is effort when there are so many people as well. Yeah I probably am stressing more than needs be, you're right. I will in the next month or so hopefully, maybe in a few weeks. I hope that when you come out things are good for you too, if I could wait the 4 months I would but its having a really bad impact on my mental health at the moment so I just have to do something about it.

    Yeah that's true but my friends and classes are so diverse that there are all kinds of opinions and views. I know some people will be fine with it and others not so much but its not like I can just come out to half of them unfortunately. I'm glad you've found out your friends arent transphobic, that's really good to hear.
     
  7. DemiLiHue

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    Yeah thanks! But if the number of non transphobic people outnumbers the transphobic ones by a lot... Then it's not really gonna be a problem! Try to make people conscious. I corrected my teacher once about her to say transgender and not transsexual and now they all correct anyone. The ones that are not transphobic will likely gonna protect you