:help: my mum and dad are really getting on my nerve cause they are trying to be "cool". Heaps of (straight) people i know use the word gay as an insult. It really :***:ing :***:es me off. My mum just used it 10 minutes ago and i thought thats it :***: i'm askin EC for help(i love my mum but this :***:es me off.) So anyway, how can i ask her to stop without telling her im gay?(my mum uses it way more than my dad.) Or do i have to come out to her? Help please:help:
Maybe you could just bring up in conversation that you find certain words to be misused. You don't have to specify the word "gay" at all if you don't want to. You don't even have to tell her that she annoyed you, it can be more of a conversational topic. "Ugh. I've been really annoyed recently how people would use words to describe minorities as insults. I just don't think it's right." She should pick up not to say these things around you.
Invisible made a good point. Try to bring it up in subtle ways. Maybe that will be enough for your mom (and perhaps your dad) to pick up on it or at least it might give them something to think about. You could even just say "I heard it now so many times on TV. Constantly words that describe minorities are being misused. I wish people would stop doing that.
Bring up how uncool using gay as an insult is. Parents are notoriously out of touch with popular culture and eventually get used to being corrected on the latest faux pas. Use this to your advantage. Try the following on for size: Mom: "This keyboard is gay." [author note: qwerty the queer keyboard would make a good mascot] You: "Mom, the gay for bad thing ... that just isn't cool. I mean people still use and all, but that's not where it's at. Hearing you say it just makes it worse [insert shudder]." As a final comment, it would not surprise me in the least if a lot of your peers misuse the word "gay". From personal experience, this phase nearly always disappears once everyone feels he has asserted his masculinity (roughly at age 16). Good luck.
I agree with everyone who's posted - I'd say the best way of bringing it up is to mention it generically, to say "I wish people would stop using this phrase" rather than "I wish you'd stop using this phrase". If you say directly that you don't like what they're saying, they could take it as a personal attack or go on the defensive, or start to speculate about your sexuality.
When she says, "That's so gay," perhaps suggest that the phrase is out of vogue/not cool and offer a non-offensive alternative. If she thinks she'll be cooler by using a word kids are using, that's what she'll do.
You presumably know someone ELSE who is gay, right? Like, for instance, us. So feel free to use us. "Mom, I know a couple gay people, and they're cool. So can you not use 'gay' like that anymore?" Lex
