relapse

Well, I can't exactly say how long you will be a "cluster fuck of basketcase emotions", we girls are able to blame that time of the month. I sympathize with you on the bottling up of emotions, usually once every year I have a complete meltdown-freakout from all the feelings I've repressed. I'm trying to break that habit, it's not healthy.

I found it's easier to come out to close friends in the long run, even if it seems tough at the time. With not-so-close friends, if you come out to them, you're still limited by that not-closeness when it comes to talking. Topics you would find easy to discuss with a best friend might be awkward to bring up around an acuatinence (Good God I just murdered that word). Best friends are also more likely to accept you because they know how you really are.

Anyway, hope that helps. It's six forty in the morning where I am so I have trouble expressing my thoughts as well.

 

it's spelt "acquaintance" lol

I feel for you buddy - bottling things up is NEVER healthy, this is a bit of a tangent, but a couple of years ago i had a really close friend - and then they said something to me which hurt. I started bottling up all my anger, and i kept picking up on anything bad they might say. In the end i just exploded and yelled at him in front of a class full of people.

I barely speak to him now, i have an entirely new group of friends. I still see him occasionally, and we've kind of made up but we aren't best of friends anymore.

Remember, if you can't be yourself with someone - do you really want to be with them? Probably a good choice for someone to tell (I'm too scared to do this myself, though i'm pretty sure he knows :/) is your best friend, if they truly are your friend they'll accept you for who you are.

Kaleb.

 

Heh, thanks Roxas :icon_redf

 

Hey don't feel bad. My emotions have been all over the place over the past few months. I think a lot of us here are in the same situation as you. You may want to join a LGBT group like PFLAG. I have gone for the past few months. I had no one to talk to so I found going there very therapeutic. There I am able to ask questions, discuss any issues I have or even vent. What ever is said is held in confidence.

Another thing I did was write a coming out letter to my parents. I actually wrote it and password protected it. I have not given it to them. I plan to give it to them next weekend. I found just writing it as a big stress reliever.

Do you know anyone who is gay or has a family member who is gay. They may be someone to talk to. Also what about your friend that is out of state you mentioned the other night. You may want to get his number so you can talk to him instead of just trading emails.

(*hug*)

 

Telling your first friend via e-mail may have been partially liberating, in a sense, but it was also the first step towards moving forward. Up until that point, it was all theory. You could, at any time, say "OK, I've decided I'm not really gay", stop posting on EC, and resume living life as a heterosexual. But now that you've taken that first step, it's become a reality. It's no longer an intellectual exercise wondering how to tell people you're gay. You're actually thinking about actually telling them. And that can be somewhat overwhelming.

What can help? Well, there's the obvious - tell more people. The more people you tell, the more favorable responses you'll get (most likely), and the more relaxed you'll be with the idea. That doesn't mean you should rush off in that direction if you're not ready, but do know that this gets easier as time goes on. About the only other thing that will help is the knowledge that good solid friends remain so. They don't care who you sleep with. They just care that you're enjoying yourself. I had one co-worker find out when he found me ogling a waiter at a local restaurant. He said, "I can't believe it! Why are you eyeing HIM?!" I said, "Well, some guys don't like girls..." He said, "I don't care about THAT! But why HIM? He's an asshole!"

Lex

 

why don't you delay all of them and do what you used to do before coming to this stage?

 

xD I go on tangents sometimes to Lim. Yeah, I totally agree. Finally saying something--to anyone!--feels much better than never finding anyone it seems right to talk about it with. And, I am by no means a woman, but telling other guys about your homosexuality is tougher. Why? I think it's because men are hard headed and not as accepting when it comes to change.

I still have a LOT of trouble mentioning it around guy friends. I probably don't come off as gay either. I am very masculine and strive to be so. I've been in situations where people will no longer talk to you if you tell them. Let me tell you now: shit happens.

Many, MANY people will do that to you, regardless of sex. But, that is a good thing. It tells you who values you or not.

And yeah, I can totally understand fearing yourself. Been that way since I started college. The journey to finding self identity is long and frivolous.

 

Thats great!

 

Ew. Coffee. The dreadnaught that plagues my morning. Can't stand the stuff!

I am EXTREMELY impatient too. Though, I am passive aggressive. Lol I'll have the patience of a saint if it lets me get back at you or lets me enjoy someone squirming. >_<) That's bad I know...but...at least i'm not knifing you!

Lol I don't think Hallmark would say anything like that. How much younger is he? I wish I had siblings...i'm a spoiled rotten only child. I don't recall, did you tell him yet? Will you? Can you?

 

You talking about the one in Vallejo CA? If so...I've been there! Hopefully it went well.

 

the other thing you could try, if you are nervous about telling close friends, is telling complete strangers (a bit like this forum). if you know someone who is gay, ask them to put you in touch with one of their friends who you don't know. talk to them instead, where there is no pressure. get used to talking about being gay, it will make it easier for when you want to talk to your close friends.