Hey all, Its been a long time coming, but Im to the stage of admitting to myself that I am transgender. I am a stubborn person. I have always had problems with depression and anxiety. Even now I still doubt myself. About 2 months ago I was able to admit to my fiance what I felt. She knew, I mean someone so close has a way of knowing. My problem is my parents. I mean my mom had an idea that I was "gay" before. She literally said that but it still took her awhile to come around. She loves my fiance, sometimes I think more than me. My only worry is coming out as trans to her and my dad. I love them both, were on good terms, but my mom also likes to make smalls remarks such as when I mention buying a suit that I could get a skirt. Its a big step that I know Im not quite ready for, as Im still having trouble accepting myself, but would just like to have some insight as far as in the future? Thank you in advance. It means a lot.
I don't really have experience in that field. If you aren't relying on your parents for insurance, or housing, or anything like that, them not being as accepting isn't as important. Ease them into it. Make them feel like they are influencing your decisions. For example, tell them that you've been questioning, instead of just straight out telling them that you're transgender. Talk to them about names. Ask them what they would have named you if you were born in a male body. The best thing to do is make sure that they feel included, as they are the people who have made you become the person you are.
My dad used to constantly make remarks about me "needing to wear dresses one day" when I'd talk about wanting to buy shirts. He seemed low-key transphobic too and it took me by surprise that he was willing to try to understand and accept me being trans. You've said you have a good relationship with them, you might need to find information that you can give them to help explain but if they supported you coming out as gay I'm sure they'll come round to you coming out again and your mums comments will subside. I came out to each of them separately by writing them a letter explaining how I felt, the dysphoria I was experiencing, what I wanted to happen, etc. So they knew my thought process and where i was going. I then gave it to them in front of them and we talked about it after they've read it. Writing it all down is a lot easier than speaking it out loud, you can get all of your thoughts to be coherant and proof read as much as you want. You have your fiance backing you which is really important. Just take your time to come to terms with yourself first, make sure she's involved and lean on her if you need to.
