1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Lesbian with a boyfriend...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by youngnbeautiful, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. youngnbeautiful

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So I'm coming to terms that I am more than likely gay. And for the past week or so I've been trying to find the courage to tell my boyfriend that I think I'm gay and I need to find myself. But then I don't know what to say, or how to word it in a way that he can understand. Because the "I think" part is definitely confusing. Advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Distant Echo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    462
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    on the verge of somewhere
    This is a hard one, because whatever you say to him, that is what he is going to remember. And changing things later is very hard to do. I initially came out as bi, and that was a bad idea.

    Seems like you need a little more time to work yourself out. Try the labels. Lesbian, gay, queer, bisexual. Do any of them feel "right " to you.

    How do you feel about your boyfriend? How do you feel about men in general. How do you feel about women?
     
  3. youngnbeautiful

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I feel like I can't work it out unless I'm singl though.. Yea I've been out as bi for almost 2 years dated and been with guys. And I love my boyfriend, but not in the right way, more of a best friend deal. And after 5 months I still don't want to sleep with him, I keep saying no. I fell in love with my best friend after having a little thing with her and that was just wow. Her touch was just magical, like I can't describe it. But with men I can't emotionally connect as anything more than best friends. I don't know what label feels right yet, gay feels better and more fitting/comfortable than bi. I have very little to no sexual attraction to men. Whereas just thinking about being with a women is exciting and definitely appealing. I also don't like fantasizing about men.
     
  4. FalconBlueSky00

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2015
    Messages:
    390
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TX
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well you don't have to tell him that's why you want to break up. Like you said you just don't love him the way he loves you and your not willing to take the relationship any farther. Loving and respecting someone doesn't mean you have to tell them something your not ready to talk about yet.