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Planning on coming out to some friends. Help!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by leahyo, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. leahyo

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    It's 6:25am now and I've been sitting in my room for 12+ hours trying to decide what to do. After much thought, I've decided that I'm gonna come out to my closest friend on the weekend. I know she'll be okay with but I'm still so scared. I'm almost 24. It seems strange because I've never felt ready until now. Even yesterday, I was crying, telling myself I'll live a lie for the rest of my life. But I've realised it has to be done. One of my closest friends is a guy and he's been into me for years. I'm doing this for him really and this is why I'm so scared. We're so close and we hang out like 6 days a week. He recently told me he's in love with me and I can't handle it. I feel like I can't just tell him I'm not interested because he is a big part of my life. I'd love to be able to be myself around him. I know that he doesn't have a problem with gay people and he's told me that it's fine if I'm not attracted to him. But I'm not sure how he will really react. He definitely won't be expecting this. I don't want things to change. I want to remain his best friend but at the same time, I don't know how he'll react and it scares me. I need to tell him, anyway. Anyone have any advice?
     
  2. Azrael

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    It's a test of friendship, only you can decide when is the best time for you to come out. It's a blind leap of faith.

    He may be hurt, he may not, I'm not sure. But you seem to have decided for yourself that you can't live in the dark anymore. The only advice I can give you is that you do it in a calm and safe environment, and be understanding and open minded if he may have any unwanted reactions.

    I wish you the best of luck, I hope things work out for you.
     
  3. PrsngHppnss8D

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    Hi. You cannot live a lie if you cannot handle this lie, do you see? You are so uncomfortable with this, but it's not even your fault. Nobody is really sure about someone else's reaction, so you have to do this move. And think positively, right? Tell him what you feel about him, that you don't feel attracted to him (once you're lesbian) but love him as a friend and would not give up this friendship, you don't want things to be changed. Be calm to him, ask for support and I pretty sure everything will be ok. :grin: stay cool
     
    #3 PrsngHppnss8D, Mar 7, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2016
  4. leahyo

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    Thanks :slight_smile: I feel like I can't say it face to face. I know my friends very well. I know they won't mind but I'm still terrified. I feel like it'll come as a shock to them though so I'll feel more comfortable giving them letters. Is this a bad idea?
     
  5. leahyo

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    Thanks :slight_smile: I feel like I can't say it face to face. I know my friends very well. I know they won't mind but I'm still terrified. I feel like it'll come as a shock to them though so I'll feel more comfortable giving them letters. Is this a bad idea?
     
  6. PrsngHppnss8D

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    No, it is not a bad ideia if you feel comfortable doing this way. But for me, eye contact is important, so I can be as natural as I can and understand the real reaction of them.:thumbsup: