Coming out... IN ARKANSAS?!?

Believe me, there are gays EVERYWHERE! You just don't know it yet. You can choose to stay and educate these people where you live or you can move to a place that is more liberal. My son grew up in this very conservative, mainly Republican and very religious small town. There were three gay guys in his graduating class of approx. 180 kids that we know of. One of them came out in high school. He actually did it in class. It went over pretty well! My son came out after high school. Everything went fine there too. Everybody accepted him. The other came out after he'd moved to a more liberal area in the state.

So the choice is yours. How old are you?

 

Hi there!

Welcome to EC.

There's plenty you can do without moving out of your state. First off, you can try and find an LGBT youth center near where you live. If you live near Little Rock, there's one there:
PALS
210 Pulaski
Little Rock AR 72201
501 374 3605

and then this:
Northwestern Arkansas LGBT Community Center
www.nwaglbtcc.org
1-888-391-9222

If you keep looking you might be able to find more.

As for your friends and family, you say they're really religious, but does that necessarily mean they are very against homosexuality? There are millions of people that are religious and don't have a problem with homosexuality. Have you heard them talk about it before?

A good resource for them to look at when/if you come out to them would be PFLAG or (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays). Some pamphlets from this organization can be found here:
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com/pflag/pflag.html
and the one specifically about faith and homosexuality is here:
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com/pflag/Faith_Families.pdf

Good luck with your friend in Louisiana!!!!!!

 

I came out at 15 in Perry, Georgia. So if I can do it, you can do it too. But if you think that your religious family is going to have a problem with it, then I would wait because you don't want them to kick you out or try to send you to one of those religious/cult places where they claim to make gay people straight.

 

Well, as a fellow Arkansas resident, I do see where you're coming from. It's difficult here. Homophobia is extremely prevalent.

I don't know about you, but I live in one of the really small towns with churches on every street corner. If you so much as walk 'gay' here, you get intense glares.

But I'm completely out of the closet, and it really isn't so bad once you are finally out. Your true friends will support you and stick by your side. You just have to learn to ignore all the ignorant jerks.

 

A lot of the jokes and derogatory comments you hear come out of ignorance. Your friends and family likely do not know anyone that is openly gay. So it is easy to hate them, because they are not hating a person. When it is a person you know and love and it much harder to hate them.

Don't feel bad for not figuring it out until now. I realized I was gay somewhere between 18 and 19. I couldn't face it and suppressed it until I was nearly 28. I can't explain it, but there was no way I could have come out back home in Dallas. I've since come out to nearly all of my friends back in Dallas as well as the coworkers that moved down here with me. I think I just needed the space to explore who I am. For about the first 6 months here I did not speak to a soul outside of work. Other than the couple of trips back to Dallas. The solitary time did me good and really did allow me to explore my feelings.

Ultimately you need to be in a place where you feel safe to explore your feelings. Only you can decide that. If you think you can do that in this time and place then do it, otherwise there is no shame in waiting. Also you don't have to come out to everyone at once. It is OK to tell a couple of close trusted people, but not let any one else know. Ultimately this is your life and you need to do what makes it the best for you.

 

You just think there are no gays at your school. When I was in HS, there was a total of 1 guy who was openly gay, and he was outed by a not-so-close friend. Since graduating, however, several have come out.

Being the first at your school to come out could be challenging so you'd want to make sure you're really comfortable with it before taking that step.

 

No There Are No Gays In Iran !!!!!!!

 

I agree with Becky as usual. Even though I'm from CT, I grew up in a hick town of sorts. There was only one gay guy in a graduating class of 400+, though obviously there were more like myself who waited until after hs. The choice is yours. The earlier you come out, the easier. However if you aren't ready, no one should rush you.

 

Actually, there are gays in Iran, but they aren't out of the closet.

 

From my understanding of the country...that's not true either =P.

 

I know some gay people who came out when they emigrated from Iran (although they were practically disowned by their families)

 

the first thing to think about is their love for you. thats what you need to keep in mind. and obviously dont come out to them if your not ready and/or you dont think theyll take it too well. after a while theyll begin (maybe) to guess it themselves. my parents knew i was when they saw i wasnt dating anybody (girls, clearly) and all that was left was for me to confirm it with them. but i admire you for coming out to yourself at such a young age. i came out to myself when i was 17 and just started telling ppl now (im 18 at present). but hang in there. analyze the full situation b4 you do anything. and good luck!

 

^^ I don't understand. You're afraid to come out to your friend in Louisiana, because you feel that would "move" her away from her beliefs? If your friend is open-minded, like you said, then she won't have any problem(s) with your sexuality. And, it shouldn't interrupt with her beliefs.

However, my advice is to come out to her and maybe one more CLOSE friend, that you can absolutely trust....probably a close girl--friend, or your best guy friend. That's what I did, and it has worked out perfectly. I personally wouldn't come out completely till after I graduate, that's my plan as well, that way you wouldn't have to put up with all the close-mindedness....but utlimately, the decision is up to you.

And trust me, this site is perfect for helping you with these situations, so you're not alone.
Good Luck!

 

The Bible says a lot of things that people don't even think of anymore. They say a man can sell his daughter into slavery. It say a person who wears clothes of more than two fabrics should be killed. People who eat shellfish should be killed. There are so many things that people discount every day and they say something like, "

that was back then, it's not like that anymore." Well, the same goes for homosexuality. Also, comparatively, Jesus and the Bible says a lot more about accepting people, and not judging people, and loving everyone than it does about condemning homosexuality.

 

i hope u keep us posted- id like to know how it goes along the way! (im so nosey )