Ok so before the start of school this year I promised one of my mates that I would take her to the school ball because she is leaving school and if someone who is still at school doesn't take her she won't be able to go. The thing is now I find out that she is trying to get another mate to take her boyfriend because he doesn't go to the school either and that way they can both go, but I don't like the sound of that because pretty much all she is doing is using me to get her in the door so she can spend the night with her boyfriend and that leaves me alone with noone to dance with and I love dancing I want to tell her I don't want to take her but don't know how to do it without her getting angry at me, any ideas??
Just say: Hey, I know you're looking for an excuse to just go meet up with someone else and I don't really appreciate that but I still support you so please go without me. I am not a tool--I am your friend.
You should talk to your friend and find out if this really is her intention, if it is then let her know that you don't appreciate being used like this and that you would have been happy to take her had she been honest with you but in the circumstances you no longer want to. This may well upset her but only because her manipulations have not worked. She may well be angry with you but do you really want a friend who is going to use you to her own ends. Maybe this person does have certain qualities that you admire but that does not excuse her use of you in this way. In your shoes I wouldn't worry so much about hurting her feelings or making her angry, she certainly didn't think twice before using you then planning on leaving you high and dry with no one to dance with!
that might be a bit blunt..lol...you should find another person that is going stag and ask them to take some one you want to hang with, but then that might spiral a never ending eclipse of usage, which could be cool. No seriously though, i think you should just ask her if she wants to go to hang with you, or to be with her boy. maybe she wants both. Ive had friends bring my little brother, and i brought my bros wife so we could all hang out, it can work out. besides if her boyfriend is like most boyfriends he wont want to dance because he will feel like a tool, so you can swoop in and go patrick swazy on her in dirty dancing .
I'd ask her directly, something like "Are we going to be hanging out at the dance, or will you want to spend most of the time with your boyfriend? If you're coming as my guest, I'd really like to be able to spend the time with you, and if you're not going to, I'd rather not bring you along."
i like this answer....seems to be the best route to go. honest and too the point, but shouldnt be offensive to her.
